Loving

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23 Nov 2022

Tips on how to be better at loving

Be together for the right reasons: It's worth noting that love is inherently neutral. It is something that can be both healthy and ill, beneficial or detrimental, depending on why and how you love and are loved by others. Love is never enough to sustain a relationship on its own.

The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect: People who had gone through divorces or who had only been with their spouses for 10-15 years almost invariably mentioned communication as the most critical aspect of making things work. Communicate frequently. Discuss candidly. Discuss anything, even if it hurts. And there is some validity to that. But we discovered that persons who had been married for 20, 30, or even 40 years talked about respect the most. My impression is that these folks have learned, through sheer volume of experience, that communication, no matter how open, honest, and disciplined, will always fail at some point. Conflicts are inescapable in the end, and feelings will always be wounded.

A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals: A healthy and happy relationship necessitates the presence of two healthy and happy people. Individuals is the keyword here. That implies two people have their own identities, interests, and viewpoints, as well as things they do on their own time. In a partnership, much is made of "sacrifices." You are expected to maintain the relationship by continually sacrificing yourself for your partner's goals and needs.