My state of mind

I still do not have the answer actually
One of the things I am still trying to figure out 
What makes me happy?
I feel happiness is a temporary state 
When I am angry
What pushes me into that state 
What of when I am depressed 
and feel like letting go of everything I hold dear
My state of mind at the moment is a really complicated 
I feel numb
mixed feelings of happiness, sadness, and even my regular friend depression
Am I going through a lot?
or
A lot is going through me
This is toying with my state of mind
I rule and own this state 
Am I not supposed to control how I feel
These citizens called happiness, sadness and depression have over throned me
I am no longer in charge  
I hope happiness convinces them to put their trust once again in me
Let us see how it goes
I will keep you all updated