The Influence of Family on Children

Communication within the family plays a crucial role in the child's personality development. In healthy family communication, body language holds significant importance. Love and communication are the two fundamental pillars of child education.

To achieve this:

1. Don't just give advice.
2. Avoid being judgmental, accusatory, or critical.
3. Do not use imperative sentences in communicating with the child.
4. Strict monitoring of the child and expecting everything to be done perfectly is not an appropriate approach.
5. Be a good listener. Active listening when the child has a question or a problem strengthens the communication between parents and the child.
6. Be a keen observer. Discover the child's special skills and tendencies.
7. Respect everyone's right to speak within the family.
8. Be tolerant, but avoid excessive permissiveness.
9. Display firmness without excessive harshness and authority. Authority that includes tolerance helps develop the child's sense of trust, learn cooperation, and understand boundaries.

We can summarize family approaches and their effects on child education as follows:
Authoritarian and Oppressive Family Approach:

1. These families do not consider the child's personality traits, emotions, needs, and interests.
2. A strict discipline is dominant in the family. The child must adhere unquestionably to all rules.
3. They do not allow the child to manage themselves or make decisions on their own.
4. The child is constantly under surveillance, and even minor misbehaviors and mistakes are not tolerated.
5. Confidence in oneself diminishes in these families.
6. The child develops a character under a facade of being quiet, obedient, kind, and honest but may harbor resentment, be timid, shy, easily influenced, or become rebellious, stubborn, irritable, and vindictive, leading to conflicts with peers.

Neglectful and Indifferent Family Approach:

• The family is overly relaxed, and there is a tendency for the child to evade responsibilities.
• Parents cannot serve as role models for the child.
• This is often observed in large families.
• One or both parents may adopt this approach.
• The child becomes selfish and spoiled, often excluded from their peer group.
• The child may develop exaggerated behaviors to attract the attention of their parents.
• Since the family does not serve as a role model, the child seeks other models for themselves.
• In adolescence, the child dedicates all their time to friends, making it easy to acquire harmful habits.

Protective Family Approach:

• It resembles the authoritarian and oppressive family but prioritizes compassion and protection over discipline.
• The child receives excessive attention, care, and control.
• Often, the mother adopts this approach, influenced by emotional loneliness.
• Even things the child should do on their own are done by protective parents, such as eating, combing hair, and taking a bath.
• The child becomes emotionally intense.
• The child develops a dependent personality, unable to stand on their own feet for many years, unable to show independence in society.
• Even in adulthood, dependence on parents continues.

Inconsistent Family Approach:

• Typically observed in young parents and in the upbringing of the first child.
• As the family questions and develops itself over time, the approach to the child changes.
• Parents often display different attitudes, which they project onto the child.
• Generally, the father is authoritarian and the mother is protective.
• The child does not have a clear understanding of parental love, diminishing over time.
• The child may develop rebellious, stubborn, or introverted and timid traits.
• Problems with focus and attention may be common.
• The child often prefers one parent over the other.
• A tendency to lie is high.

Tolerant Family Approach:
It is the most ideal family type where rewards and punishments are applied in the right place and in the right amount.
Everyone in the house has a say. Everyone respects each other's feelings and opinions. The child can express themselves comfortably.
Tolerance in the family does not mean excessive freedom. If there are mistakes, sanctions are applied to the children. Before this, the rules that the child needs to follow have been explained according to the child's level of understanding.
This approach is the most difficult and requires patience.
Children grow up with self-confidence.
Children become comfortable and easily expressive individuals.
Hobbies are developed in children.
There is no defiance and fighting in the child.
Sometimes there may be slight looseness in terms of respect for parents.