The Rose Petals Haven’t Dried Yet (Part 2)Loving hurts

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(Raja stares at the wall. It's almost 10 in the morning. Suddenly, he hears a knock in his room. He closes his eyes and bites his teeth, holding the edge of his bed. He looks sideways with a sad face. He picks himself up and opens the door.)
Rani: Hey Raja.
Raja: Yeah! Rani, do you need something?
Rani: No, I made breakfast for you.
Raja: I won’t eat breakfast now.
Rani: Why?
Raja: I haven’t slept yet.
(Rani stares at Raja with an expressionless face.)
Rani: But why?
Raja: I was packing.
Rani: Packing? Why were you packing?
Raja: If we do not have any connection between us, there is no point staying together.
(Rani grabs Raja’s hand and places her hands above his shoulders)
Rani: Look at me! You can see me, right? I don’t live here; this is your home, I will go. Not you.
Raja: It won’t be safe. (Raja ignores Rani and starts packing the last of his things).
Rani: But!
Raja: You stay here, I will leave.
Rani: Raja, I will feel guilty a lot, please don’t do this!
Raja: You don’t have to. (Raja ignores Rani, and a man opens his house’s gate.
(He signals the person outside with helpers to come take his things and proceeds to walk outside of his premises. Rani shouts, “Raja, please come back; I beg of you, Raja, please come back! You have to return, please.)
Raja walks while tears flow off and drop in mud as he makes his way out of his residence.
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Anuj: Raja Bhaiya (brother),
I have never seen you leave this home. I was with you from your 2-bedroom flat to this luxurious apartment. Are you getting a bigger home?
(Raja smiles and looks back and takes one good look at his home; he smiles and says to Anuj, “This home is special; I made this with my tears and sweat, worked with everything I have to build it for a special someone, what’s the point if I have to live alone buddy! I would rather go back to the 2-bedroom apartment. Mam might leave soon, take care of her needs. Once she is gone, shift your family here. It's okay! You don’t have to pay me a dime. I don’t need this gigantic house. )
Anuj: Raja Bhaiya, what?
(Raja turns back.)
(Anuj, watch her, okay? Get some of your village guys here to watch for any intrusion, and inform me if anyone tries to enter the home. Raja goes to his car and zooms off, and Rani watches him leave; she does not go out and is still, frozen as if everything just fell apart).
(She becomes breathless with her sobbing voice, trying to get some air, but all of a sudden, she slaps herself in rage. As her face turns red, she rolls herself in a corner of her bed, looks at one of Raja’s photos, and cries.)

Credits: Tom Frances Palatto, Unsplash
(Rani suddenly hears her phone buzzing; she has slept the entire day. Anuj has made her lunch and kept it on her table. She with her obscure vision, fumbled and looked at her phone.)
(Rani cries as soon as she picks up her phone. It appears the caller is someone Rani is comfortable confiding with. She is on the other line).
Rani: What am I doing? It feels so bad to see him hurt. It feels like my heart is on fire seeing him silent. It's like he is getting punished for loving me.
Caller: Do you love him?
Rani: I want to.
Caller: Do you love him or not? Yes or no is the answer, sweetie.
Rani: It's not that simple.
Caller: It is; maybe this is, in a way, good for you. You see, momentary pain is better than ever-lasting turmoil. Start your life with a clean slate. You do not want things scribbled with a chalk on it.
Rani: Maybe I need some time? What’s wrong with me? Why do I not feel that way?
Caller: You cannot force yourself to feel for someone; you just can’t. It's a hard truth; digest it.
It's that day tomorrow!
Yeah! I know, I need to also go to my cousin’s home her wedding is gonna happen.
Caller: You miss Jewel?
Rani: I do. (Rani sobs) I won’t ever be able to forgive myself for his death.
Caller: As hard as it is, don’t do something drastic; I am gathering evidence.
Rani: I want this to end; please make it fast; there is an emotional blockade of guilt churning me night and day. In a way, Jewel took me with him. And I feel that only letting him get justice is my way to redemption.
Caller: Keep your spirits high; I am on it. Rani, it's okay! Things will be fine.
Rani: I hope so.

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Raja is looking at his PC in his office. he calls Mukesh.
Raja: Mukesh! Mukesh! Buddy, go and call Mukesh. This shipment is trapped somewhere. This is a very unlikely situation happening.
Mukesh: Yes, sir.
Raja: Mukesh, what’s the E01 Codeshare for?
Mukesh: It's a big shipment, possibly for a wedding?
Raja: Who is the shipment for?
Mukesh: Sharmila Kashyap!
(Raja, a little taken aback, and asks, “Are you sure?”)
Raja: Why hasn’t the package not arrived yet?
Mukesh: I don’t know; let me enquire about it, sir.
Raja: Call the Regional Distribution Centre; please sit here and call.

Mukesh: I am calling from “Swift Shipments HQ” There is an E01 Codeshare, stuck at the regional distribution centre.
Mukesh utters, “Yeah! Yup!, Okay alright.”
Raja: So?
Mukesh: They are telling me they haven’t gotten it yet.
Raja: But it came from the source; it's stuck here, at the sorting hub. (Raja shows a map to Mukesh).
(Suddenly, Mukesh gets a call. He picks it up and replies in an angry tone)
Mukesh: What? How did it happen? What do you mean the package is not there? Where did it go? Get to the bottom of this; get me the handlers.
Raja: What happened?
Mukesh: The Regional Head of East says the package carriers vanished, and they were supposed to reach at 3 in the night. Because of a lack of space, they took a minivan and were supposed to bring it to the sorting hub. But now the head says the delivery boys have vanished.
Raja: What? How? (I mean….) (Mukesh, losing such a big package might dent our repute in the shipping market. Get to them by hook or crook.)
Mukesh: I am on it, sir!
(Raja looks at his desk with remorse and regret; he moves his head up and calls back Mukesh)
Raja: Mukesh! In case there is any problem tracing the package, we will have to pay a heavy amount for compromising the services; please make sure to inform the concerned person and pay the fine amount.

(Raja drives his car, Mukesh looks at him and says, “We will get the package, sir!)
Raja: Mukesh, you are like my friend! Don’t call me sir when we are not in the workplace. I would have even let you call me by name at work, but trust me, it's good if the employees follow the structure; I am responsible for every one of our workers’s families and their kids, their education, and their family outings. We need to put up good numbers at the end of the day to not let the business fall into a sinking hole and to put food on everyone’s table.
Mukesh: I understand. Sir Oh! I am sorry, I mean Raja! I don’t need to stay with you today; I will be fine; I will be able to manage.
Raja: No, I wanna help, or if it's a family issue, I don’t mean to intrude.
Mukesh: No! No! No! Raja, you might have other work; I saw you took tons of office files with you today.
(Raja smiles nervously)
Raja: Work makes me forget things, and we need that; I think you already know Mukesh!
Mukesh smiles, and he replies, “Very true.”

(It's night time Anuj knocks on Rani’s door.)
Anuj: Rani! I made food for you! Take the plate; you can have it afterward.
Rani: Yes, sure! Anuj Bhaiya! If you don’t mind, would you eat with me today?
(Anuj became silent for some time.)
Anuj: I would love to, but my daughter has school early tomorrow I will need to sleep to get up on time.
Rani: It's okay, say best of luck to you from my side.

Credits: Philibo, Unsplash
(Rani’s phone starts ringing)
Rani: Hello Sharmila!
Sharmila: Hey! You alright?
Rani: I am.
Sharmila: Why don’t you come? My friends are going out for drinks. I want to but I have a wedding tomorrow so. Hahahah!
Rani: I don’t want to.
Sharmila: Come na, it will be fun, you need a break.
Rani: I would. You know about Jewel, right?
Sharmila: Oh shit, I am sorry, I forgot.
Rani: It's okay, thanks for informing me regardless.
Sharmila: I would have stayed with you, but Raja is there to comfort you.
(Rani shakes her head while touching her forehead, “Yes, he is here.”)
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(Rani screams in sleep; it feels as if she is living a dream; suddenly, she hears the sound of footsteps. She ran and opened the door. There was a small package waiting for her. It was a small gift. She opened the wrapper and found a pair of bangles. With came a note, “Well, I bought these for you to gift you on your birthday; if you want, you can wear them for Sharmila’s wedding.” Rani picks up the bangles and gently lets the metallic surface touch her face. She could feel the grains of gold touching her face. She rubs them gently and places them back together. She runs to the washroom to get ready for the wedding.)

Rani: Yes, I’m coming.
Sharmila: Where are you?
Rani: On my way.
Sharmila: But Raja is already here.
(Rani looks out of her cab window)
You there, Rani.
Rani: Yeah, I am Shams… I am reaching there, I told Raja to go sooner so that he can help you with any needed arrangements.
Sharmila: Come asap!

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(Rani gets out of the cab and runs to the wedding venue. While entering the bride’s room. Mayuri grabs Rani’s hand)
Mayuri: Hey! How are you?
Rani: Uff! I’m good, mother.
Mayuri: Enough with that attitude, okay!
Rani: Or what?
(Mayuri looks at Rani with ferocious eyes, drags her close, and asks, “What’s going on between you and Raja? It's unlike him, he came at 3 o clock in the morning, meanwhile, you are showing up in broad daylight”.)
(Rani fumbles, collects herself, and replies, “Mother, can you stop poking holes in other people’s marriage and save yours. You know you don’t look particularly amicable with my father!)
(Mayuri fumes in anger, “Stop it! Stop it! I am done with your arrogance)
(Rani replies, “Well, I am done with you!” then she runs to the bridal house; meanwhile, Mayuri stares at her daughter angrily.)
(Ranjit comes from the back and says “She is just like you; stubborn, irritating and defiant. This girl has no sense.)
(Mayuri replies to him back, “Would you stop it or do you want to be slapped in front of everyone?”)
(“I am not the one who she is misbehaving..” Mayuri looks sideways and says, “That thankless child does not know anything; she is just like her father and cannot see the difference between people who care for her and don’t care.”)
(Meanwhile, Raja sees all these actions while pretending to arrange the seating chairs for the wedding. He enters the bridal house.)

(Rani searches for Sharmila and is not able to find the room, but somehow, through misdirections, she gets the room. She enters, and someone comes and says, “I think you are in the wrong place; this is where the bride is getting ready.” Rani replies, “I know, she is my friend.”)
Sharmila: Rani.
Rani: Hey Shams, Oh, look at you! You look so pretty.
Sharmila: Yes, this is the dress.
Rani: It looks amazing; this one looks as if it's made of Muga Silk.
Sharmila: Yes, it is.
Rani: You look like a golden dove, spattering sunlight in a clear sky.
Sharmila: Yes, I am.
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(Both Sharmila and Rani start talking meanwhile, the girls around her helped Sharmila with her makeup. Sharmila introduces them, and they have a heartful chat. The moment was joyous everyone was laughing, giggling, gosipping. Meanwhile, Raja tries entering the room, he sees Rani with other girls, and he smiles and leaves. He sees an aunty passing by. He calls her and requests to go inside the room and get him the outline of the seating area. He then zooms off to find another chore.)

Rani: Hahahahhahahhahahahha! Oh, Shams! I don’t know why I did not contact you for so long! I missed you so much
Sharmila: Nah, it's okay, you don’t have to fret; I was busy.
Rani: Yeah, you were! Very much! (Rani winks at Sharmila.)
Sharmila: Thanks for covering for me.
Rani: You better be; I covered for all those times you were studying while doing the nasty with your husband.
Sharmila: Shut up!
Rani: Uh, never mind!
(Sharmila clears her throat while Rani smiles at her.)
(Sharmila sleeps in her bed for one last time. Rani gets in bed with her while both of them start staring out the window.)
Sharmila: Rani, you okay?
Rani: I am.
Sharmila: I know Jewel died in an accident on this date. You can talk, you know.
Rani: Today is your day, Shams.
Sharmila: Rani, please, I insist. Don’t pretend to laugh if you don’t feel like it.
(Rani controls her tears, she is trying to utter words, but they simply are not coherent enough for Sharmila to listen.)
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(Sharmila holds Rani close to her. She bawls on her chest. While Sharmila holds her strong and does not let her go, meanwhile Rani resists, “Shams today is your day.” Sharmila replies, “It is mine, but please do not put on a smile if you aren’t happy.” Rani breaks completely and cries her heart out, “I don’t know, Shams what to do?” Sharmila says, “I am here with you. I am here”.)

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(Rani smiles and says, “That was Jewel, you know, he was a very passionate guy. Such a brilliant writer; he loved clicking photos. Sweet. Sharmila replies, “I bet he was. Always thought you guys were the thing.” Rani says, “Yes! I am pretty sure Akash is a great guy. I mean it. Sharmila replies, “He better be. I ain’t putting on a kilo of makeup on myself sweating in this outfit only to realize my guy is a douche.”)
(Rani smiles and says, He is not.)
Sharmila: I think it's time for the rituals.
Rani: They will call, you do not worry, so any last wish before you go from Miss to Mrs.
Sharmila: I just want to drink a strong shot, man, being normal sucks.
Rani: You wait here; I know where Uncle keeps his poison.
Sharmila: You know, How come you are saying me now? Rani wait! Come back, Miss! Oh, please, try returning. I will tie you to my bed if you do not tell me where he keeps it.
(Rani giggles and runs to the opposite side. She comes after a minute and pours in five shots and tells Sharmila to gulp it down. They both drink together and smile.)
Rani: I think we are ready, Shams.
Sharmila: Oh, we are! We are!
(Both Rani and Sharmila head to the Puja Mandap (pavilion), where the rituals will be performed. Both the groom and bride sit together as the priest performs those rituals, Rani has tears in her eyes, and suddenly she sees Raja and waves him a hye! Raja avoiding eye contact, looks at the fire in the centre of the mandap. He crossed his gaze to Rani, and it felt as if they were both connecting, communicating with their eyes. Rani smiles, and Raja smiles at her back with an expression of relief. And sooner the rituals were done.)

(Sharmila smiles while the cousins congratulate her on her wedding. Rani sits on the side, looking and smiling at her. The rest of them left the room and went to their homes. In their culture, weddings take up the entire night. Hence, all the people go home after pulling an all-nighter.)
Rani: Shams, you sleeping!
Sharmila: What? I don’t think that’s a choice. I think we need to chug this baby down (spots at the vodka bottle Rani stole). Oh, there is a reason why I told Akash! You have to keep yours one day apart; I need a day in between.
Rani: Nice! Shams.
(Suddenly, there is a knocking sound. Rani hides the bottle under the desk and moves to open the door and as soon as she opens it, she sees Raja standing and entering via her side to the room.)
Raja: Hey Sharmila, I will be leaving; I have work tomorrow.
Sharmila: What now, Raja, stay! Your wife is not going anywhere; you, too, stay; work can wait.
(Raja makes an uncomfortable sound. Rani interferes; she says, “Shams let him go; he never misses work, moreover there is an issue with work.)
Sharmila: What issue? His company is a top-tier packaging service. Raja, can you offer me some of your stock? I need to buy some, some of my friends have made a good profit. (Meanwhile, Raja smiles)
Rani: Let him go, Shams.
(Raja looks at Rani while smiling at Sharmila.)
Shamila: Have some shots with us, and then go.
(“I can’t, replies Raja.” Rani says, “Have a few! You can go after that.” Raja stares at Rani uncomfortably; meanwhile, Rani is trying to tell him with her expression to wait for some time and then leave, as Sharmila is already sleepy.)

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Sharmila: So that’s my story. Raja, it's your turn. Truth or Dare?
(Raja waits for a while. Meanwhile, Sharmila falls on her bed. Raja stands up while Rani looks at him, and then he leaves the room. Rani places a pillow over Sharmila’s head and turns the light off. It's only minutes before sunrise. Rani stands alone on the balcony while Sharmila’s parents are sleeping in the guestrooms of the venue.)
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(Raja, looking over the sunset, lights a cigarette, takes a deep puff, and moans in relief. Rani sees him and proceeds to move towards him.)
Rani: Raja, thanks for staying a bit; Shams can be irritating that way.
Raja: No, I don’t mind.
Rani: The wedding was okay, I guess. The food was great.
(Raja looks at the sun as it rises from the east.)
Rani: Raja? Raja? Raja?
(Raja avoids eye-contact.)
Rani: Raja, God damn it, please talk to me; why are you behaving as if I am nobody.
Raja: What do you want Rani? You made it clear I mean nothing to you.
Rani: Don’t put words in my mouth. I did not say that.
Raja: Well, you did; you said, “I am trying, but I can’t love you, as if I am this disgusting piece of shit that cannot be loved.
Rani: Raja, I was honest with you.
Raja: Well, I am honest with you now. I can’t talk or be in contact, it pains, and it hurts.
Rani: I know Raja I am sorry.
(Raja smiles)
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Raja: What did you say? You know, sorry, you know? You knew, and you led me on; you ripped my heart and stepped on it countless, countless, times.
(Rani cries but in anger, she says in a stern voice)
Rani: Well, I am not the only one who said to someone you are difficult to love.
Raja: What?
Rani: Oh come on Raja! Stop this act, you know.
Raja: That was different. I was suffering from Pure O.
Rani: Well, I was too.
Raja: No, you weren’t. PCOS and Pure O are different.
Rani: I was losing hair in my teens. I was gaining weight every next day; my stomach hurt like hell, as if someone was boxing the hell on my belly. I was bleeding for weeks, sometimes even 1 and a half weeks, amidst the turmoil we had. I couldn’t buy good padding; nothing seemed to hold the blood I was leaking out.
Raja: You don’t get to do that.
Rani: Do what?
Raja: Put all of this on me.
Rani: Sorry I did not go away searching for some spiritual crap awakening and telling my lover, wish you have a good life, it's for the best crap.
Raja: I told you I was going through a lot. You said you were okay when we got back together.
Rani: You know what, Raja, you were stubborn, you put me down back them every time. I had to turn vegan for you. You would laugh at all my choices.
Raja: You were too needy; you did not want a boyfriend, and you needed a babysitter.
Rani: Well, the babysitter gave up on me when times were tough.
(Raja looks at the sun and sheds his first tear)
Rani: I was going through hell too. I did not give up.
Raja: You said you were okay when we got back.
Rani: Guess I was not.
Raja: But we slept together after that.
Rani: So, the fear haunts me, Raja; what if you give up on us again?
Raja: Well, I did not go to any other girl’s arms the minute our situation got intense.
Rani: What am I supposed to do? Wait for you! So that you can leave me again.
Raja: Well, I pity why you did not! You would have broken my heart, and I would have taken some time, but I would have recovered at least by now.
Rani: Yes, you always do.
Raja: What do you want me to do, Rani?
Rani: Why do you treat me like a stranger? I did not treat you like shit, even in the worst times.
Raja: Guess what? You took revenge, ain’t you? It pains me more than ever. You took my heart out and stomped on it again, again and again, until my life was out of my body.
Rani: I know, I am sorry.
Raja: Stop saying that.
Rani: Okay, now tell me what to say. Tell me what I was wrong about. Tell me how to feel. Tell me everything how to be?
Raja: You know what? I am done with this talk.
Rani: Yes, brilliant, give up on me, like you always do.
(Raja waits and turns back and yells, “I was going through hell damn it, I was in pain. I did not want to do it, but I thought taking the nonmaterial route would soften the pain, the guilt, and the anxiety. And you said you were okay with it. Why did you lie to me? Why the hell did you lie to me? Answer me, Answer me damn it”.) (Raja shouts at Rani’s face.)
(Rani hugs him while he sobs. She kisses his neck and holds him by his head, gently rubbing it.)

Beyond the story: The last portion of the story, the argument between Raja and Rani, is a true incident that I went through. Hope you enjoyed this story. This story will have more parts; the next part will be out next week. Thanks for reading!

Please make sure to read the 1st part as well
The Rose Petals Haven’t Dried Yet

I am trying my best here, teaching myself, but I’m unable to...

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