Mad!

I frequently question why I am so furious at the world.
I don't want to vent my hurt on everyone who has wronged me.
But you're a big part of why I weep, too.
I sob because you were absent.
I asked someone to tuck me in when I needed it.
I sob because you were absent.
For every show I've performed in
I strive to keep my head up and be steadfast.
I always had a mother who had to play both roles, so that was one constant in my life.

Your attempt to procure my love
However, no amount of money could undo the harm you have caused.
I never looked for the ideal father.
I just needed a special dad to make me feel unique.

When I was younger, I frequently experienced a bizarre dream.
Upon hearing your voice in the morning, I would bolt from my bed and leap into your arms.
My mother would smile and glance behind her
You would gaze at me with immense love in your eyes since we weren't alone anymore, and then you would mumble, "I swear I will never..."
But suddenly I was roused by reality.

Right now, I just wait.
wait until you mature
Wait for you to put your daughter first and let go of your ego.
However, one can only wait for so long.

You might be prepared to act like a man when it's too late. You will apologize and place the blame for your actions on others, but all I will do is laugh because you missed out. I will hold my head high and drop a tear to symbolize the sufferings you caused, but I will let the tear fall and move on.