Ballons for me.

It's sad today has to start like this
With extreme extreme depression
It's as if immediately it was 00:00 nothing I
was reading wanted to enter my head
anymore
I stopped assimilating things
Will my grades suffer too? 
In hindsight I knew it would be like this but I
didn't expect it to be this heavy
I'm trying not to let the abstractness of the day
take away the fact that this could just be
another day not to be sad
I'm slowly acing at looking happy
Yes I'm not supposed to be dependent on
anyone for my happiness
But what happens when in a stretch of 4 years
you've always had that one constant person?
Uggh
I wish it wasn't during exams so I can wallow in
my grief
I'll be fine eventually
Today doesn't mean anything to me.
I'm just plain old me.

My friends hurt me before the day ended, that deep engrained hurt that try as you may it’s just stuck in your head.  
I wish it was someone else but them. 
Maybe I’m just meant to be sad.