Did you know that there are multiple versions of yourself in the minds of others?

My Psychologist Is Me: A Space To Learn, Grow And Heal From Within.

Tips, reflections and resources on how to take care of your mental health, improve your self-esteem and develop your potential. I do not intend to replace professional help, but rather to complement it and motivate you to be your own psychologist. I hope you like it and that it inspires you.

Before continuing with the next articles related to pathological personality traits, I want to take a "stop along the way" to ask you a few questions: Have you ever stopped to think about how the people around you see you? Do you think they have a true and accurate image of who you are? Or do you perhaps consider that there are aspects of your personality that go unnoticed or are misinterpreted? If you have ever asked yourself these questions, I invite you to discover a surprising and revealing phenomenon: the different versions of yourself that exist in the minds of others.

The versions of yourself are the different perceptions that people who know you have about the way you are, think, feel and act. These perceptions are based on the information they receive from you, either directly (for example, what you say or do to them) or indirectly (for example, what they hear from you or what they infer from your appearance). However, this information is not sufficient or complete to capture the complexity and richness of your being. That's why people who know you also draw on their own beliefs, values, expectations, prejudices, and experiences to fill in the gaps and make sense of what they see about you.

In this way, each person who meets you builds a version of yourself that fits their own reality, but does not necessarily coincide with yours. Thus, you can be seen as a fun person by some, boring by others, intelligent by some, stupid by others, etc. Even you yourself can have a version of yourself that is different from the one you really are, either because you overestimate or undervalue yourself, or because you allow yourself to be influenced by what others think of you.

There are several factors that influence the creation of versions of yourself in the minds of others. Some of them are:

• The passage of time: people change throughout our lives, but others do not always realize or update their image of us. For example, someone who knew you years ago may still see you as you were then, and not as you are now.

• The context: the way we behave and show ourselves can vary depending on the situation, place, time and people we interact with. For example, you may be more outgoing at a party than at a work meeting, or more affectionate with your partner than with your boss. This makes others see different facets of you, but not the whole.

• The relationship: the type and degree of bond we have with the people who know us also influences how they see us. For example, our family may see us in a more close and affectionate way than our classmates, or our friends may see us in a more positive and understanding way than our enemies.

• Projection: sometimes, people who know us attribute characteristics or feelings to us that are actually theirs, but that they do not recognize or accept. For example, someone who is envious of us may see us as arrogant or selfish, or someone who feels insecure may see us as threatening or intimidating.

What are the consequences of having different versions of yourself? The fact that there are different versions of yourself in the minds of others can have positive or negative consequences, depending on how we deal with them.

• Positive: it can be an opportunity to know ourselves better, to discover aspects of our personality that we had not noticed or that we had forgotten, to value our strengths and improve our weaknesses, to accept and love ourselves as we are, and to respect and appreciate the diversity of opinions and perspectives that exist about us.

• Negative: it can be a source of confusion, insecurity, discomfort, conflict, rejection, criticism, manipulation, dependence or isolation, if we let ourselves be carried away by what others think of us, if we constantly compare ourselves. with them, if we strive to please them or change their opinion, or if we distance ourselves from those who see us differently.

In order to manage the different versions of yourself in the minds of others, it is important to keep some tips in mind:

• Be aware that versions of yourself are subjective and relative, and do not define who you really are. You are much more than what others see of you, and what matters is what you feel and think about yourself.

• Be honest and consistent with yourself and others. Express yourself and act according to your values, principles, interests and objectives, without pretending or hiding anything. This way, you will make it easier for others to know you better and respect you more.

• Be curious and open to learning about other people's versions of yourself. You can ask them directly or deduce it from their comments or attitudes. This will allow you to broaden your vision of yourself and others, and learn from their points of view.

• Be critical and selective about the versions of yourself you receive from others. Don't believe everything they tell you, nor let yourself be influenced by what suits you or what you like. Analyze the source, the reason, the intention and the evidence of what they tell you, and decide what works for you and what doesn't, what helps you and what doesn't, what helps you and what doesn't.

• Be grateful and generous with the versions of yourself that others offer you. Recognize and value the effort and interest they put into getting to know you and sharing their perception of you with you. At the same time, you also offer your version of them, in a sincere, respectful and constructive way.

The different versions of yourself in the minds of others are a reality that we must accept and take advantage of. They are neither good nor bad, but simply different. What matters is how we manage them and what we do with them. If we use them to get to know ourselves, to grow, to communicate and to relate better, we will be able to bring out the best in ourselves and others.