They were never really that into you…

I don’t know a lot when it comes to life. No matter how much I consume, no matter how many books I read, I still feel like I don’t know shit.
But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s people. When it comes to TV shows, movies, documentaries, reality shows, the news, and meeting people IRL, I know people. I can usually wager a good guess as to how things will end and where things will go, and I like to think I am pretty intuitive with the human mind.
Unfortunately, a lot of this has come from being rejected, really really putting myself out there and getting turned down, losing friends, family disagreements, a 2-year service mission, lots of traveling, and a lot of hardships in life which is something I’m sure we all have in common.
Because of this, particularly with dating, I’m able to help a lot of friends and clients with dating advice, and sometimes I just keep my mouth shut cause they have to learn themselves. I always say I’m the most qualified because I failed my way to success and had to hit the pinnacle of rejection until I found my stride and ended up with the woman of my dreams. Any dating coach who sails through life and tells you how easy things are with dating is not only a barefaced liar, but they’re completely deluded. The best people at anything in life got there through failing.
About four years ago, one of my very close friends, Josh, got into a relationship with a girl. She was stunning; I even joked with her that she was too good for him over facetime with the two of them. Why was it facetime?
Cause they were doing long distance. She was in NYC, and we were in Utah.
One day she came with some friends to Salt Lake City, and they rented out a pretty cool house. Josh and I picked them up in his SUV, and there were 4 of them, including his “kind of girlfriend,” Chelsee. I wanted to come with him to pick them up cause I kind of wanted to flirt with Chelsee’s friends. In addition to that, I got a hot tip from Chelsee that one of her friends saw me in Josh’s IG story and thought I was cute, so I wanted to meet her and flirt to my heart’s content.
When we picked them up, I was immediately not impressed with Chelsee. There was an air of entitlement to her. For example, when all the girls got in the SUV, all of them except her offered to pay josh for picking them up; of course, he declined, and rightly so; he was giving a nice gesture to them as a thank you for traveling all the way to Utah.
We had a pretty great time, actually, when they were here. I ended up hanging out and hitting it off with another one of her friends (Tory), and we got wonderfully tipsy for the four days they were there. Chelsee and Josh were a little off. He was doing all these kind, nice and thoughtful gestures for her, and she just kind of accepted them. I could tell she was the receiver and he was the giver.
That is not a good sign.
I’ve spoken about this many a time, and I’ll keep lamenting about it. Reciprocity is key. I knew right then and there that it was effectively over.
Her biggest issue was alleged that Josh hardly communicated and did not facetime enough. I found this hard for me to believe, as when me and the guys were usually all out, Josh would always be texting her. I just think she was looking for a way out.
About two weeks later, Josh asked me to come to NYC with him…
Josh: Yooooo
Me: What’s big dawg
Eventually, he revealed he wanted to surprise her at a nonprofit launch party Tory was hosting. Tory and I knew what it was, so we were just having fun; it was the perfect scenario for me to come along.
1 Week Later
We show up one day early and did some tourist BS with two of our other friends. Then on Sunday, we show up to Tory’s launch party.
Stacy was not amused. She’s upset that he just showed up and didn’t like the romantic gesture. Of course, I knew this would happen and told him. But sometimes, those who can’t hear will have to feel.
It turns out as he declared to her that he’ll be better at communication and give her more of his time, and he wanted to make it work. She then pulled a few other excuses out of her ass as to why it wouldn’t work.
So what’s the moral of this story?
Reciprocity is №1
When someone is truly for you, and I mean really for you. For the most part, they will try and match your effort and energy. I have always used that as a barometer to measure someone's success and it’s never ever failed. He always seemed to be doing so much, and she was a taker. Men fall for this a lot because we fall for the woman's beauty and because very attractive women are rare, some men latch on to one lady, and no matter how badly she treats him, he’s all in. This is “sucker shit,” and the women who play these games know it.
2. It’s over
Once someone dumps you, it’s over, and in particular, in my experience, if a woman dumps you, it’s usually because she’s thought about it way before she actually does it. When someone dumps you, you have to learn to move on. Trying to save it and fighting for someone who dumps you over something they didn't even give you a chance to fix is losing game.
3. No excuses
The people who truly want to be with you will never make excuses as to why they shouldn't be with you. They’ll make excuses as to why they should.
That sounded way cooler in my head.
4. You’re greatIf you want to learn more about this, feel free to grab a copy of my book, all about dating. If not, find a book that works for you and helps you grow in the way you were always meant to.
Want to hear more dating and relationship pieces to get your dating up to your standards? Feel free to stalk my social media IG, Pinterest, TikTok, and Youtube.
Thanks for reading!
I mean that you’re so awesome. The person you’re supposed to be with should empower you, Build you up and allow you to feel special. Always have high self-esteem and build on your self-worth. Always trust in what people do, rarely what they say. Talk is cheap as hell.