Forgive me Dad

I'm sorry you weren't there when I got home.
I apologize for leaving my mother all alone.
I'm sorry you missed when I walked for the first time.
And I'm sorry you missed our initial conversation.

I'm sorry you forgot to put me to bed at night.
I apologize for forgetting to turn out my light.
I apologize for missing me experiencing my first startle.
And I apologize for not being there to reassure me.

I apologize if you never bothered to call or showed any sign that you did care.
In actuality, I don't feel the least bit remorseful.
I have no regrets at all.

You owe me and the rest of us an apology for what you were unable to do.

A father is expected to love, guard, revere, and care.
The most important thing for a father to do is to be present.

But you were unable to offer, protect, or show care.
Worship wasn't permitted.
You couldn't attend, too.

because you decided not to try anything with me.
You may be on and off right now, but it's already too late, as you can see.

I mean, I finally get it.
Despite the fact that I find this to be sad, you will always be my father.
You'll simply never be my father.