A share thoughts how I liven up a dim life.

everything is written based on how lifereally started when I was 17 years old

On my birthday there was no special celebration, no more enthusiasm for welcoming a new life nor was I ready to write a new page.

So how?

On that day there was only anger that rose inside me. I don’t know what I was angry about, but why on that day did I feel so reluctant to live.
Really reluctant to carry out a ‘Must’ that I have to carry out like it or not. Even if I choose not to continue─everything will continue as it was in the previous days.

Why doesn’t everything go our way?

Shouldn’t everything go according to our way? So on that day I hoped for just one day I didn’t want to feel alive. It was really hard on that day. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

But that doesn’t mean I want to die, tho

It’s as if I just want to be quiet, to daydream for a moment without having to think about anything that will happen ─
in the next 1 second,
in the next 1 minute to the next 1 hour.

Why doesn’t life go our way ─ it goes truly beyond our control; Beyond. Our. Control.

That’s why life must be in harmony with Nature however we do it, it all comes back to Nature and the Universe. That’s why Stoic Philosophy teaches how life does not depend on anything but the Nature. Which was popularized by popular Greek thinkers such as Seneca, Epictetus and even the Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. So in conclusion life does not judge how we live it because basically life will run its course outside of our control.

“Whether our lives are good or not can only be judged by the things under our control.”
─ Filosofi Teras, H. Manampiring

You should not able to control everything in life.
Sometimes we are too ambitious to live,
without realizing that our souls
has limitations for a life that
have no maximum limit
to pursued and
no minimum
limit that
must be
endured.