How to Overcome Disappointment

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Disappointed Before anything, you'll first have to acknowledge the letdown you've just faced. Denying the reality of a certain situation, or refusing to think about it at all, makes things a lot worse than they should be. It also keeps you stuck in one place, unable to work on getting a solution to said problem. Like a lot of things, the first step to getting over disappointment is awareness. Yes, you failed the test. Yes, you didn't win the lottery. Yes, you didn't get promoted. It hurts, and that's okay. Give yourself time to mourn. 2. Let It Out According to a study about mending broken hearts, those who wrote down their deepest thoughts and feelings about their experience recovered much quicker than those who hadn’t. They also had better physical and mental health in subsequent months. In another study, executives and engineers who deliberately confronted their feelings about unemployment had a much higher rate of re-employment in the following months. It actually jumped up to 72% when called for a follow-up 4 months later. ​ The point here is this: sometimes, the burden of disappointment is too much to hold in. Therefore, talking to someone, or even writing it down on paper, will lessen the feelings of pain and/or hopelessness after experiencing disappointment. 3. Don't Dwell on What Might Have Been It's likely that you've imagined how great it would be if you were to get that promotion, to rank at the top of your class, or win the lottery. So when things didn't work out as you had imagined them to be, it's inevitable that you’d ask yourself what could have been if things were a little different. If you answered more promptly, if you studied a little harder, or if you were a little luckier. But the truth is, the more you dwell on your disappointment, the harder it is to let go. Not only will it disrupt your ability to focus, but it'll also prevent you from moving forward. 4. Be Kind to Yourself Most of the time, when things go wrong, it's not your fault. Perhaps the company that turned you down required someone with a completely different set of skills. Maybe the person you fell in love with is in love with someone else; someone who they've known way before you came into the picture. Or maybe, it just wasn’t meant to be. Regardless of the situation, it's important to adopt a self-compassionate attitude. Be kind to yourself. Don't judge yourself too harshly for not being perfect. Don't hold yourself to impossibly high standards. Most importantly, don't compare yourself to others. Doing so will only hurt your confidence and damage your self-worth. Your path is yours, and theirs is their own. 5. Give Yourself Some Credit There will always be days where you just can’t finish everything you want to or achieve everything you hope to achieve. Such is the way of life; it throws tasks and obstacles at you at random. Oftentimes, it derails your focus from your goal. Mistakes happen, and you're allowed to make them. You did what you could. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made and learn from them instead of holding them over your own head. ​ 6. Put Things Into Perspective A lot of us find ourselves looking back at events that now seem trivial. We might even ask ourselves why we were so worried or upset about something that, in hindsight, wasn’t as awful as we initially made it out to be. Ask yourself this: how will you feel about your situation in a week, a month, or a year's time? If you believe that your feelings of disappointment will eventually disappear—that this too will pass—then you’re already on your way to getting over it. It would be nice if the world was constructed with the odds being in our favor. Unfortunately, reality isn’t so kind. So rather than judging the event you’ve just experienced an utter disaster that'll ruin your life forever, think of it as a mere inconvenience. After all, it's not the end of the world. 7. Look for the Silver Lining Always try to find a sign of hope or a positive aspect in your otherwise negative situation. The world is not painted in black-and-white, so don't let yourself be defined by it. While you may feel unhappy right now, try to look at the situation as a critique, or as a part of growing up. As Chet Baker sang in his 1956 Pacific Jazz album, "Remember, somewhere the sun is shining, and so the right thing to do is make it shine for you." Take your disappointment as a chance to stop, evaluate, and restructure your thoughts. It's not a bad life; simply a bad moment. Therefore, try to use it. 8. Always Look Forward The beauty of life is that there's always tomorrow to look forward to. If an event brings you disappointment, it doesn't mean that you should shy from it forever. If you can, try again. Identify your next opportunity and work your way to reach it. In the words of former professional footballer Jamie Redknapp, "There's no point in looking back and saying I was unlucky." Indeed, one of the best ways to get over disappointment is to always look forward. 9. Try a Different Approach "When we feel stagnant and unconfident, it’s a lot easier to see the bad parts of life." entrepreneur Melyssa Griffin wrote. "Start small. Remind yourself of all the great things you can accomplish." In other words, if what you're doing isn't working and failure seems to be a constant in your life, perhaps it's time to create a different game plan. Take it as a chance to bring back control and positivity in your life. For instance, if your partner isn't changing or meeting your needs, it may be best to focus on your own happiness instead. If your qualifications don’t meet the majority of the companies you tried applying to, you may have to reinvent yourself. Sometimes, getting what you want requires jumping out of your comfort zone. Yes, it can be a terrifying prospect, but taking the risk means tolerating loss, uncertainty, and even more disappointment. This is how you change. 10. Use Humor as a Coping Mechanism Finding humor in a situation allows you to step back and see things more clearly. Laughing is like taking a deep breath and bringing everything back down to earth. This isn't to suggest that you should laugh at yourself with contempt and fierce anger, as it can be emotionally self-harming. I'm also not suggesting you make light of your emotional vulnerability. ​ Instead, surround yourself with people who make you smile. Watch funny shows and movies, read funny books, and partake in merry engagement. Doing so will keep your mind off of the disappointment you're feeling, and make it easier to handle. 11. Credit: I didn’t write this article. I found it helpful and thought to share. Here’s the source: https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/disappointment.html