Pain away from pain

I set off looking to get wasted 
So wasted I wouldn’t know my name lol 
I already hinted that much to my friends 
The funny thing is that only one person amongst the three knew I was dealing with stuff and she kept a hawk eye on me so I wouldn’t do anything stupid 

Twenty minutes in, that’s when I saw her 
It only took that few minutes for me to be completely uninhibited 
All of them knew 

When I tell people this is how it affects me, no one, unless they’ve been there before never truly understands 

I told this girl, let’s call her “C” and she was like uh pfft close your mind you’ll get over it 
She was in a similar situation last week and she came to hug me and she said she understands 

I felt like I was falling without anyone to lean on 
Mostly I’m disappointed in myself to be so actively insecure, because of words said, and actions made 

I’ve been dealing dealing 
School, life
Everything

At least when I saw her 
It was a welcome pain away from pain