How can you be alone with your thoughts?

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3 Feb 2024
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Many people may prefer electroshocks to spending a few minutes alone with their thoughts. Screen addiction and ubiquitous entertainment keep people away from disturbing thoughts and memories. However, spending time with the voice in our head can make it easier to find solutions to problems and can also be enjoyable.


Other activities that aid thinking include walking outside (research has shown that walking improves creativity) and tasks that don't require much attention, such as taking a bath, driving a familiar route, or folding laundry, Mark says.

2- Embrace negative thoughts as they come
Now for the unfortunate truth: One product of being alone with your thoughts is confronting the negative ones. No one is immune to anxiety or shame. Some negative thoughts may be temporary, such as the memory of a joke that didn't land at a meeting. This is where a list of thought topics can be helpful, says Mark, so you can get back to the topics you want to think about: “It's pretty easy for me to get rid of negative thinking. Because I have a goal to continue to achieve these three positive things.”
However, Kross says that some negative thoughts are more persistent and should be considered. For these deeper situations, try to think objectively about the issue at hand to determine why you're encountering the issue and find a meaningful path forward. For example, if you keep returning to a recent fight, improve communication with your partner. Or take the conversation out of your head and into the real world with a counselor like a therapist or neutral friend.

3- How can you improve after the negative experience you are considering?
If you constantly think about the same issues and get stuck in the emotions of the experience without finding a solution, remember that you may be ruminating. Rumination is thinking about negative emotions or experiences over and over again. People who ruminate may not be able to process their emotions effectively and may have increased anxiety and depression.

“Instead of finding a solution, you begin to cycle through the emotional elements of these experiences, rehearsing them over and over again, which can be really debilitating,” says Kross. Rumination can cause problems with your ability to think and perform, problems in your relationships, and can also harm your physical and mental health.” He says and suggests that you try to look at the memory from an outside perspective, so that you get less caught up in emotions.

Nguyen also says you don't have to be alone with negative emotions. As with any skill, the more time you spend thinking alone, the easier it will become, says Nguyen; “Start by spending a few minutes alone with your thoughts each day and increase as you feel more comfortable. Maybe you'll have an epiphany in the shower or on a walk. This “a-ha!” Moments don't appear out of the blue. “We must give space for these to wander in our minds.”

If your goal is to maximize your thinking power, you should use your time consciously. Instead of reflexively reaching for your phone when you take a break at work, see what happens when you leave your mind alone. Try thinking of ways out of an interpersonal conundrum or imagining the perfect vacation. This could be just as fun as what's happening on TikTok.

“You can be more intentional about giving yourself opportunities to have these experiences more regularly,” says Kross.

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