My Inner Self Revealed: A Personality Test Adventure

Tired of the constant noise of social media, I decided to delve into something more introspective: a personality test. I've always been hesitant about these things, but something about this one felt different. It promised not just labels, but a deeper understanding of myself.

Also, I stumbled across a forgotten to-do list from a year ago, and there it was: "Take a personality test." It had been sitting there, unfulfilled, a silent reminder of a desire for self-discovery. So, I dove in, armed with a bar of chocolate and warm water while listening to random music. What could go wrong?

Who wouldn't be intrigued by the prospect of unraveling the secrets of their own mind, especially if it holds the key to understanding why I constantly feel like I'm under a microscope, judged by every move I make? Why do I perceive a lack of luck in my life, why do I dwell on past mistakes, why do I worry excessively about matters that shouldn't concern me, why do I lack confidence in myself, and why do I struggle to control my emotions? At 29 years old, I often feel burdened, as if I'm carrying the weight of a 50-year-old. Maybe this test isn't about finding all the answers, but about starting a conversation with myself. And that's a journey I'm ready to begin.

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

The Statements, The Answers, The Revelations

I have responded to all the statements in the personality test, but I only selected a few that I could explain, simply because I can relate to them on a deeper level. Even upon reading these questions repeatedly, I could readily affirm that "this is indeed me".

You are prone to worrying that things will take turn for the worse. I concur with this, as I am inherently an anxious individual. My mind frequently gravitates towards worst-case scenarios, the unfavorable outcomes, as my potentially positive thoughts are repeatedly tainted with negative notions. These pessimistic ideas often predominate the anticipated events, leading me, at times, to blame myself when the outcome is undesirable.

Your mood can change very quickly. I concur with this as I have a propensity to overanalyze situations which significantly affects my mood, fluctuating it based on the current thoughts preoccupying my mind. I might be in a state of extreme bliss one moment, but a minor incident can immediately flip my emotional state, causing me to feel utterly downcast. This swinging mood pattern can make others perceive me as somewhat eccentric. Haaaaa.

Your friends would describe you as lively and outgoing. I beg to differ on this matter, as I am indeed a rather introverted individual who favors intimate gatherings, one-on-one conversations, or even solitude over socializing. This is not based on an unfounded assumption - I have previously experienced attending a larger gathering. However, upon returning home, I found myself completely worn out and depleted of energy, despite not being particularly active during the event, merely sitting and engaging in conversation.

You usually prefer to be around other rather than on your own. Sometimes I'm comfortable being with someone or among other people when the atmosphere is not toxic, when there's understanding and an acknowledgement of boundaries. However, there are times when I prefer solitude over being in someone's company, especially if the latter only amplifies my feelings of loneliness or causes me stress.

You rarely feel insecure. I acknowledge my insecurities, even if I don't always show them. My insecurities arise from past experiences, social pressures, personal convictions, and my own self-criticism. There are numerous areas where I feel self-conscious, uncertain, and inadequate. I recognize all of this, and yet at times, I choose to ignore it. I am aware that by doing so, these insecurities won't simply vanish but I do it to avoid feeling even worse, or to avoid contributing to negativity.

You avoid making phone calls. Yes, that's correct! I tend to avoid making or receiving phone calls. In case of an emergency, feel free to send a text. Even when I was employed in a conventional job, I generally didn't enjoy picking up phone calls, often advising people to raise concerns via email or hangouts. This also served for safety reasons, as some issues may not be thoroughly addressed or may change during calls; it's preferable if they can be documented for proof in case of a dispute. In general, I'm not fond of individuals who are constantly engrossed in their phones due to messaging or calls.

You rarely worry about whether you make a good impression on people you meet. I cannot deny that I feel anxious after social interactions. Often, my mind keeps racing, filled with questions such as "What might the person I just spoke with be thinking?" "How might they have evaluated me based on their observations?" "What could they be saying about my behavior?" "How did they perceive my appearance?" I must confess, it's entirely normal for me to feel uneasy or anxious when engaging with either known or unknown people, also worrying about whether I made a positive impression. It's not about being overly preoccupied with what others think, but rather about wanting to establish a positive connection.

Your emotions control you more than you control them. It's a frequent and distressing experience for me to feel as though my emotions occasionally take control and influence my actions. This is terrifying! It's as if they possess their own intellect. I frequently react to circumstances without taking the time to properly contemplate. Almost all of these responses result in impulsive behaviors and utterances, which I later agonize over, if not regret.

When someone thinks highly of you, you wonder how long it will take them to feel disappointed in you. I grapple with anxiety and low self-esteem, which is why I tend to worry excessively. I often have ongoing internal conversations that are quite critical. This inner voice certainly cast doubts about my value, making me believe that I am not good enough to sustain someone's positive opinion. My worries are so intense that even positive events are immediately followed by negative thoughts. Honestly, I want to change this because I recognize that the issue is essentially with me, which is why I am constantly stressed. My negative thoughts are a significant source of stress for me, but they are very difficult to combat.

You would love a job that requires you to work alone most of the time. Yes, that's exactly right! I flourish in environments with less external stimulation. The quietness and solitude enable me to focus more intensively on my work, think creatively, and yield high-quality outcomes. Being constantly surrounded by people and continuous interactions exhausts me. After engaging in social interactions, I often need to recharge and restore my energy.

You feel confident that things will work out for you. This is a big NO. I am simply being candid regarding my feelings, as I don't always have full confidence in myself. I've encountered numerous setbacks, disappointments, and failures in the past, so it's quite logical for me to harbor fears of making mistakes due to lack of self-assurance. I'm apprehensive that despite my utmost efforts, hard work, and fatigue, I might not be able to accomplish my goals and meet the expectations set for me, since I always seem to experience failure.

You are still bothered by mistakes that you made a long time ago. YES. Why aren't my past experiences completely silenced, even though I desire nothing more than to bury them in oblivion? Sometimes, I yearn for selective amnesia so I can choose which events remain engraved in my memory, as I am truly exhausted. The majority of the memories that dwell in my mind, playing on a loop, are ones of sadness, disappointment, and regret. This is frankly harmful. It's maddening. My present is affected because, rather than entertaining positive thoughts and maintaining hope, negative ones prevail.

Even a small mistake can cause you to doubt your overall abilities and knowledge. I aim to be a better version of myself, but there are times when even a minor mistake makes me excessively critical of myself. The more I falter, the more I scrutinize myself, sometimes letting things be because life is exhausting. I understand that "nobody is perfect," so occasionally, I remind myself that there will be times when, regardless of how well I'm prepared, a minor mistake will occur. This helps me realize that nothing in the world is perfect and that I can learn something valuable from each mistake.

It took me 22 minutes to complete this test; there weren't that many questions, but that's how long it took me. Hahaha. And here we are, my personality type is INFJ-T, the Advocate!

I = Introverted
N = Intuitive
F = Feeling
J = Judging

T = Turbulent

Concluding Thoughts

I remember being 27 when I first heard about personality types... I brushed it off then, but looking back, it feels like a missed opportunity. Now, after truly understanding my own type, I can confidently say it's been a game-changer. It's helped me understand my own preferences, as well as those of others, and their potential differences. It's even equipped me to recognize and develop strategies for managing my stress triggers.

One of the most significant “aha!” moments for me was understanding the importance of setting boundaries. While my INFJ-T personality naturally leans towards empathy, the test made me realize how crucial it is to protect my own energy and prioritize my well-being. It’s a constant balancing act, but I'm excited to learn new strategies for managing my stress triggers and prioritizing my needs. The test has given me the tools to do that.

Final Note

What about you, my fellow Bulbers, are you aware of your personality type? How has your self-discovery process through personality tests affected your journey? I'd love to know your thoughts and insights. Let's continue this conversation – share your experiences in the comments below!

You've come this far. May the Divine Grace be upon you. ♥

If you have some spare time to review my other pieces of writing, I would greatly appreciate your support and I thank you in advance.

Aching Heart
Breaking the Mold: How Extracurriculars Helped Me Find My Voice
The Curious Case of the Sleepless Mind
Gratitude for the gifts of Wisdom and Resilience
The Weight of Love
The Music That Whispers Hope
Hair fall: A Whisper of Worry
The Spark Within: How My Teacher's Belief Changed Something
A Battle with Patience: Finding Serenity in a Chaotic World

Revisiting My Past: A Journey of Reflection and Growth