My Hatred

Slowly try to enter the house by sliding the door slowly.
I do but the eyes of my father sitting in the corner catch me-
'Who was caught?'
'Giving clothes to the laundry.'
'Do you wash your clothes everyday in the laundry?'
'When do you go everyday?'
'Do not do non-sense ! You roam the streets all day long,
Can't wash your own clothes?’
'I am!' I come inside haughty, haughty. mind it
I want to shoot the arrows of answers at them, but I know - the result will be the same,
His roar-roar, I may be missing from the house for several hours
and for weeks we avoid each other's sight of father and son,
When faced with my scolding, mother's weeping and
Blaming the past karma, go on going on a continuous bed.
I can't remember exactly when and how this happened.
started . Ever since I knew myself, such a rebellious, blasphemous
And brash. Childhood was like a cup of honey for me
The poison of desire for the importance of the father as soon as he applies it to the lips.
I was engrossed in drinking.
I still don't remember the day when mother got her hair done.
New bag hung on my shoulders, making me cycle with dad
was sent to school. Father made me enter the convent with all the rush
Were successful in getting it done.
I started studying in English medium. Completely Hindi atmosphere in the house,
On the children of the class whose home environment was also English-oriented,
The same teachers also tossed crates of praise because they were young at a young age.
Speak English fluently. Those boys dominated the class.
Mother could have taught me well but I needed to be English medium.
Because she was helpless. Therefore, father does all the hard work. my wish
Didn't want to read them. But can't stop talking to mom
was . With all the book copies as soon as I came from the office, I Started teaching around. probably because of their hard work
I have reached the eighth grade.
Once the whole class was going to the camp. father refused
did . On my insistence, mother and father also started to hesitate.
I stood still. first explained, threatened and scolded as a result
Gaya and at last was declared unworthy by putting two slaps.
I got very angry.
Sometimes for 'donation' or prom etc.
If I had brought the printed slips, my father would have been furious.
Even if I gave one or two rupees, I would have been adamant that
The rest of the boys would bring ten-ten, twenty-twenty rupees.
Why should I take only one or two? i about this
I talked to my mother but my mother also spent a lot of it
She believed
I would never talk about Raman's 'Varsh knot'
I cannot forget . first she me
He was told that the next month his year knot
Is . I'm happy inside and out
had reached home. I may be more eager to see his knot than Raman.
was waiting; Because Raman spent his year preparing for the knot.
The picture was drawn, it kept me restless for a whole month.
But neither on that day nor the father gave me a scolding - "Don't know
I didn't start fighting loudly, crying and crying.
done . In anger, the father gave a big slap on the cheeks.
A red mark appeared on the cheek. That day not the first time my mother kissed my cheeks
But the fingers were weeping and fighting with the father. to Father
Might have regretted it too. Mother washes my mouth, puts medicine on my cheek
And by ordering a box of biscuits from the market, Raman with his father
sent home.
Raman's father was found at the door. very happy he
Brought Raman to him. Then his eyes fell on his cheeks. daddy soon
Said, "While coming, fell off the stairs... but I said, "You are
Friend's birthday is not there, definitely go."
My heart went crazy with anger. I thought, let me scream loudly.
In front of Raman's father - that they are liars, idiots and merciless, I They have been beaten up and are lying here. said nothing, just angry
Staring at them, Raman went inside holding his finger.
When I entered, I felt that I had entered the magical land of the Red Fairy.
am . Lots of colorful balloon rays, ribbons, presents, trophies swinging
Bouquet-like decoration, always laughing with glee - his mom-daddy.
After returning home, I asked the first question to mother- 'You and my father
Why not celebrate your birthday?'
In reply, the father's rebuke caused his indignation and anger towards him.
Extended even more. Perhaps gradually this neglect and resentment
The place did not revolt. Inadvertently an enemy of my father was born in me.
Who all the time harassed, grieved and harassed his father.
Builds in the ski to take revenge against the injustices committed. Since
Father and studies had become synonymous with each other, so from studies
I was as much annoyed as I was with my father.
With the arrival of younger sister Shalu and her younger Mantu in the house
The tension had increased even more, maybe that is why I am more rebellious
went . Now it had become a common thing not to get beaten up.
Slowly, the fear of Pitt also vanished from the mind and I laughed again.
As soon as he raised his father's hand, he would have run away from the house.
Just got stuck on studies. Wasn't able to come first but
I could easily get better marks than normal boys. Reading
Since then I had become hostile. to take revenge on father
I would have had a lot of fun till my career was ruined, it seems to my father.
There can be no better way to eat less.
I remember that after getting the seventh position in the fifth grade, the sixth
I came third in class by working hard, thought better than last year
Father would be happy to bring the number but he was annoyed on seeing the report - 'Even if
No matter how much I mix and drink, but you will remain third-of-third.' My mind
She was brought down by humiliation. Thought, I should scream and say - 'Next year I fail
I will fail.
The joy of easing the burden of examination after returning with the paper often
If I returned home with enthusiasm, I would have met my father in the meeting - "How did you do?"
Paper?" I would happily say, "Okay" but the father's lips bit.
Go, "Say, you have lived as if you would come first."
Annoyed, after returning after giving the paper, especially to face them.
Expresses his passion by shying away, annoyed and roasting in front of his mother
does it Shalu looked like a child to me; But ever since I got a little older
He has started to obey the father's-mother's words, he has started fearing me.
Tired of that spoon. Tossing and playing with little Mantu in his lap
That's when I love him, but my father loves him, thinking of me
There is peace in letting her cry.
Money is more trouble this month - Terrycott's Kadak Collarwali
Will definitely get a bushshirt, why don't I have a watch? without a clock
I will not give the exam, if the bicycle gets punctured, it will not be possible, by autorickshaw
That I will return home after giving my opinion, I will cut my happy hair, by inflating it on my forehead.
I will decorate ... do whatever you can do for me. am ......
Many times I feel like trying to come first once,
But then no one screams from inside - no, it is the victory of the father.
Will go They will consider it their own achievement; And... and happy too
What will I have to do with their happiness? Now they have no control
When he walks, he roars after telling his mother - "Okay, don't study. Do
Do not patrol all day. I too after this time that some coolie-kabadi
I'll put it to work."
Look at this, just came to the street shop to buy something
It was only that suddenly the father was seen passing through the road. I know, at home
There will be a lot of thunder and roar when you reach. But don't be stunned by coming to the outer door
I will go . Father felt that his son's future was ruined
Thinking this, he stood in the hallway, resting his elbows against the wall.
Katar is crying. I stand speechless stretched in the silence. Father
I have never seen such a very low amount of money before
saw . For the first time in my life, I forced my father so much, so much
Seeing distressed and so helpless, has father ever been like this before?
Must have cried in the midst of compulsions - with me?
Now I regret my words. seeing father's condition
I felt sad in my heart. I told everything after meeting my mother. today
There was no limit to the happiness of the mother. He hugged me. his eyes
Tears started pouring out. They were not of sorrow but of happiness. of my eyes
The rebellious embers are extinguished - by the torrent of my own tears. I am silent
I am saying - father! I want a treaty. Yes, I want a treaty.
I misunderstood you, I'm sorry.