The agony

The phone call finally came.
then came the queries.
How?
Why?
Then comes the deafening sound, followed by silence.

The first night of insomnia; bee-like memories swarm.
On the first day that you will never see, the sun finally rises.

When did everything start to go south?
When did your blessings start to feel so bad?

When did the youngster with the lemonade stand start?
Who wanted to be the kid with the cigarette pack and loved to ride his bike as far as he could?
Since when did "help" become "enable"?

Finally, you realized that a thrill without parallel would realize all of your goals and only required a needle.

However, the needle is a strict mistress who expects complete obedience to her orders.


Lie, steal, and cheat
Also more than that.
just to show respect
a few feet from her door.

She CANNOT and WON'T be "cured."
She IS NOT going to "go away."
She WILL follow you into the afterlife and throughout your entire life.

What about the youngster operating the lemonade stand?
He made one terrible decision, which he only realized later.

The loss of someone so young may seem unimaginably tragic.
Sadder still is the knowledge that there is no relief other than death.

Would you consign a person so young to a life they are all too familiar with?
God might then inquire, "What right do YOU have to condemn him to Hell?"

There may be some world or country beyond Death's door where the burdens of life are lifted and inner peace is discovered.

However, no map of THIS globe indicates the location of such a land.
Such a place is either unfathomable to man or does not exist.

Do you see the youngster riding his bike?
The happiness on his face?
Do not complain about one last rush.
As he runs for Death's welcoming arms.

As Misery vanishes into the distance, he rides the wave of that powerful rush.
This miserable planet is no
t his concern.
As his last, gently beating heart.