The oath

Scenes from when a Mom left her baby for military duties at the end of her maternity leave.
"
My heart seems to break every time I consider how absurd it is,
What a terrible hour,
I want to be dreaming because the idea of leaving makes me tremble and make me wonder if I'm even awake.

Will she miss me, feel angry at me, wonder where I am, or forget that I'm her mother when she's not quite a year old?
Who will look after her and protect her from the cold?

When all I want is to be with my daughter, be her nurse, teacher, and friend, I'm experiencing separation anxiety that is gushing like a burst pipe. My heart is thumping, my mouth is dry, and I'm doubting why I signed the dotted line and said I would defend.

Will she even know me when I walk through the door, her first steps, her birthday, and more.
When I'm feeling down and down, her big smile, which still has some undeveloped teeth, can lift my spirits.

I prepare my kit and leave for my destination.
Not even a thousand kisses, hugs, squeezes, or games will do.
I sob uncontrollably, tears stream down my face, and I pray to God that this tour will pr
oceed quickly."