Why Your Grandma is Better at Crypto Than You (And How to Fix That)

If you think your grandma has nothing to teach you about crypto, think again. While you’re busy chasing the next “1000x moonshot” and panic-selling every dip, Grandma is sitting in her rocking chair, sipping tea, and effortlessly outperforming your portfolio—without even knowing what a blockchain is.

How? Because old-school money habits beat modern-day FOMO every single time.

It turns out, your sweet old grandma, with her dusty savings jar and obsession with patience, might just be the perfect crypto investor.

And if you want to survive in this game, you need to start thinking like her. Let’s break it down. ---

1. Grandma Understands “HODL” Better Than You Ever Will** Your grandma has been HODLing (holding on for dear life) long before crypto even existed. - She bought her house in 1982 for the price of your monthly rent** and held onto it until it was worth a fortune. - She kept that old furniture set from the 1960s, and now it’s “vintage” and worth thousands. - She never sells anything because, in her words, “One day, it might be useful.”

Meanwhile, you buy Bitcoin at $60K, panic-sell at $40K, and then cry when it pumps back to $70K. Grandma would never.

How to Fix That: - Stop treating crypto like a lottery ticket. **Good investments take time to grow. - Pick solid projects with real value and hold them for years, not days. - If Grandma can wait 40 years for her old coins to become rare collectibles, you can survive a few bear markets.
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2. She Knows the Value of Dollar-Cost Averaging (DCA)
Grandma never aped into an investment all at once. She understood: slow and steady wins the race. - When she wanted to save, she didn’t dump her entire paycheck into a risky stock. - She put a little aside every month, rain or shine, and let compounding do its magic. - Fast forward 30 years?
She’s sitting on a fat savings account while you’re praying for a bull run.

Meanwhile, you dump your entire paycheck into a meme coin because Twitter said it’s the next big thing — only for it to crash the next day.

How to Fix That: - Use Dollar-Cost Averaging (DCA). Buy a little Bitcoin, Ethereum, or your favorite crypto consistently over time, regardless of price. - Stop trying to time the market. Even professional traders get it wrong. - The goal is to accumulate, not to FOMO into every green candle.

3. Grandma Doesn’t Trust Strangers With Her Money
Grandma doesn’t play when it comes to money. - She still keeps cash under her mattress because she doesn’t trust banks. - She never clicks on sketchy links or gives out her card details to random people. - She triple-checks everything before making a financial decision. And yet, here you are, clicking on every
“free airdrop” and connecting your wallet to random websites.
Then you wake up to see your MetaMask drained, screaming, “I got hacked!” No, you didn’t get hacked. You got finessed.

How to Fix That: - If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. If Grandma wouldn’t fall for it, neither should you. - Use a hardware wallet. Keep your coins safe like Grandma keeps her jewelry in a locked drawer. - Never share your seed phrase. If someone asks for it, they’re not “support”—they’re a scammer.

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4. She Understands Patience Better Than Anyone
Your grandma plants a tree and waits decades for it to grow. You, on the other hand, can’t even wait two weeks without checking your crypto portfolio every five minutes. - She tells you, “Good things take time.” - You tell yourself, “Why isn’t this coin pumping yet? I need Lambo money NOW!” Guess who’s winning? Yep, Grandma.

How to Fix That: - Stop expecting instant riches. Crypto isn’t a magic money machine—it’s a long-term game. - Ignore short-term price movements and focus on fundamentals. - Take a break. Stop staring at charts all day. Go outside, touch some grass, and think like Grandma.

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5. Grandma Sticks to What Works Grandma doesn’t chase trends. - She doesn’t switch banks every month because a new one “looks cooler.” - She’s been using the same soap brand for 50 years. - She doesn’t invest in random stocks just because they’re trending on TikTok.

Meanwhile, you’re jumping from one meme coin to the next, buying every new hyped-up NFT, and switching from Solana to Avalanche to Arbitrum to Base every week.

How to Fix That: - Stick to proven assets. Bitcoin and Ethereum have survived multiple crashes—can your meme coin do the same? - Stop chasing the “next big thing.” The best investments are often boring but reliable. - Think long-term. If a project doesn’t have real-world utility, skip it.

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Let's wrap it up, shall we?: Time to Think Like Grandma At the end of the day, Grandma’s old-school wisdom beats modern-day FOMO every time. - She HODLs without even knowing what that means. - She dollar-cost averages like a pro. - She avoids scams better than most crypto investors.
- She has patience, and patience always wins in investing. So the next time you’re about to make a reckless trade, ask yourself: “Would Grandma approve?” If not, maybe—just maybe—you should take a step back, slow down, and start thinking like the OG investor in your family.

Now, go call your grandma. She might just have better investment advice than Twitter.