Good girl no dey pay oo

Hy everyone, it’s been a longggg while. It feels so lovely to be writing again. Let’s jump right into it, if you stay in Nigeria(my dear country), you probably must have heard the phrase- “good girl no dey pay ooo” a million and one times. In summary, what this phrase means is that as a woman, you have to in some sense be a bad girl to actually enjoy life. In this scenario, bad girl means partying, clubbing, drugs, and having multiple sexual partners…
Logically speaking, I believe people have a right to live their life whichever way they want to, you can’t subject people to your standard or principles of living, right? However, I also assume that as cool and catchy and trendy as this phrase is, I think a lot of people take it to heart and have a high tendency of making it their reality.
As a teenager, I knew a young lady that I really used to envy at the time. She was a bit older than I was but Oh my, I was so in love with her lifestyle. She was the cool girl in the block; nice phone, nice dresses, expensive hair, partying, multiple admirers and by extension multiple sexual partners. She strongly lived by the “good girl no dey pay” ideology and, of course, she severely preached that to me.
I’ve constantly had to battle this ideology. “Perhaps, they are right, maybe I have to be a bad girl to actually enjoy life as a woman”. And of course, I attempted the bad girl lifestyle a few times, but none of those experiences worked for me so I just gave up and stuck to being the averagely good girl I am. In more modern terms, I “settled”. However, a few years down the lane, journeying down the path, I realized that I didn’t settle, I, in fact, went for the best option available.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying life, there are however a lot of concerns about how we tend to enjoy life. I’m not of the school of thought that how you do something is not as important as getting it done. I strongly believe that my means are as important as my ends. You cannot take your journey away from your destination. As a matter of fact, the journey is most times what makes the destination what it is.
The ultimate urge to explore life, have fun, and relax is quite global, we all want it. As women, I believe we have the power to make that happen the right way. “Good girl” actually pays and I know this, not just from the testimonies of amazingly successful women that I have met and seen but also from my own personal experience. It paid me and it is continually paying me, believe it or not, it actually has quite a high ROI (Return on investment).
It’s also very okay to get stuck in the middle of the “good girl” and “bad girl” forces, that’s why I am particularly writing to you today. I’ve been there, it’s such a confusing place to be, it gets more difficult to live your life according to the godly or moral standards you might have initially stood for but not to worry, I have a few tips.
Get Busy
Find a career path, a skill or even a hobby and follow it through (it sounds normal but it works like magic!)
Get Involved
Social services, community services, and volunteering are quite good ways to constantly remind yourselves of your moral values.
Make Money
I’ve observed that the constant need for money is quite a great motivation for the “bad girl” life. We, however, cannot underestimate the role of money in our survival as human beings. So, make money (it doesn’t matter how little it is) and cut your cloth according to the size of your pocket.
Last but not the least, Hold on to faith! Hold on to the standards of God. They are definitely not outdated, they are rather fruitful, peaceful, enduring, joyful, and motivating.
I might not have successfully debunked the “good girl no dey pay” myth, but I have shared my experience and my opinion of it. I guess it’s time to say bye, see you in my next article and of course, there’s a promise for you at the very end.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jer 29:11