I am a copy.

All of our lifetime, all of our lives are too unique to copy the path from someone else” Master Shi HengYi
I have read this quote hundreds of times but still find it hard to practice it. How do I explain to you that my friends think I don't have a mind of my own?
I like to think that I am a very independent person and that I am in control of my life, but how do I tell you that I can’t even make a decision without involving others?
There was even a time when someone loved me and we dated, but when she left, she said to me, “Alex, you allow people to have too much say in your life; I can't deal.”
Before now, I had always thought she was the problem. I don’t keep secrets, I don’t have secrets, and most importantly, I don't build in silence.
I’m still looking for a way to frame the kind of person I am so that you won't judge me. Do you see? Even now, I’m trying to please you.
A friend told me I please people too much, and it's almost like I’m hungry for attention.
How do I explain to him that to me, it is not “people pleasing" but rather extreme empathy for a fellow human being?
“Babe, should I do this?” "Friend, I think I liked what you did there; I’ll do the same." These are things that I love to say, but my friends don’t like them.
They said I’m too... What’s the word, er, copycat? I have weighed my options and tried to see where they are getting it wrong.
As a matter of fact, aren’t we all copies of someone’s creation? Now you might be wondering why I am still friends with people who seem not to like me.
I don’t think it is about that; they are just oblivious to the kind of person I am. I want them in my life, even if they don’t.
People also said I was a potential buttlicker; whatever that meant, I hoped I could do it in ways that would please me and the people I care for.
How do I explain to you that we can’t all express ourselves the same way? Friends keep things from me because they don’t want me to imitate them.
But they influence me. I love it when the external world influences my world.
I can’t hold it in; the steps I want to take I need to talk about them with someone; I need to hear the opinions of others about my life.
I don’t want you to think that I don't have a life of my own except the ones I built around others. But that is the truth.
When do you draw the line when pleasing people? especially those ones you really care about. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.
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