When Love Was a Lesson: Healing from the Heartbreak That Was Never Meant to Stay

I was having a cup of coffee and I got thinking, alot of things happen for a reason especially when it comes to relationships, even friendships but lets stick to the relationship aspect.
Sometimes, we meet people who feel like they were made for us. They fit into our lives so effortlessly, their presence becoming a rhythm we don’t even have to think about. We let our guard down, we open up, and we love deeply, only to realize, too late, that they were never truly ours to begin with. They were not our forever, but rather, a chapter in our story meant to teach us something profound; I will give the best advice that I can because maybe someone who needs this but has no one to talk to might just end up reading my article.

"Sometimes, the wrong person comes into your life to prepare you for the right one." – Unknown

The Pain of Realization

The heartbreak that follows such a realization is unlike any other. It’s not just the loss of a person, but the loss of an idea, the belief that they were ‘the one.’ It’s waking up to the fact that while you saw forever in them, they may have only seen a moment. And that moment, no matter how beautiful, was not meant to last.

"The hardest part about moving on is accepting that the other person already has." – Faraaz Kazi

But here’s the hardest truth to swallow; some people are placed in our lives not to be our home, but to lead us back to ourselves. They come to show us our worth, our strength, and our ability to love selflessly, even if that love isn’t returned in the way we deserve.

My Advice is allow yourself to grieve, but don’t let the pain define your self-worth. Journaling your emotions can help process what happened and provide clarity on your personal growth.

A Lesson in Self-Love

You may have been brought into their life to teach them what pure, true love feels like, the kind that asks for nothing in return, the kind that is patient and kind.But they? They were sent to you as a mirror, reflecting back the parts of yourself you needed to see: your resilience, your capacity for love, and, most importantly, the areas where you still needed to heal.

"Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are." – Beyoncé

Perhaps they taught you that you had a habit of giving too much without expecting enough in return. Perhaps they showed you that you were willing to settle for breadcrumbs when you deserved the whole feast. Or maybe, they forced you to finally confront the truth that you need to love yourself first, so deeply and completely, that no temporary love could ever shake your foundation.

My Advice is engage in self-care activities that remind you of your value, whether that’s taking a solo trip, practicing meditation, or surrounding yourself with supportive friends who uplift you.

Healing Through Acceptance

The pain of this kind of heartbreak is deep, but healing begins the moment you accept the purpose of their presence in your life. Instead of seeing them as a mistake, see them as a lesson. Instead of dwelling on the ‘what-ifs,’ embrace the ‘what was’ because what was, was real, even if it wasn’t meant to be forever.

"Some people come into your life as blessings. Others come into your life as lessons." – Mother Teresa

Self-love means choosing yourself even when someone else doesnt/didn’t because are definitelt worth it and enough. It means understanding that just because someone couldn’t stay doesn’t mean your love was wasted. Love is never wasted. It is a reflection of your own beautiful heart, and in time, you will give that love again to someone who is truly meant to receive it.

My Advice is let go with grace. Practice affirmations like "I am enough," "I am strong", "I am love", "I am worth it", "I deserve love," and "The right love will find me when the time is right."

Moving Forward

So, let yourself grieve. Let yourself cry as much as you need to over the love that could have been. But then, let yourself rise up. Pick up the pieces they left behind and build something stronger, a love story with yourself at the center. Because the love that is truly meant for you will never require you to question your worth, and one day, you’ll look back and realize that this heartbreak was the beginning of something greater: a deeper, truer love for yourself.

"The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet." – Mohadesa Najumi

For more articles on Self love and making yourself the 'priority' click on Dear Me: A Letter of Love, Growth, and Self-Discovery