LOSİNG

Losing…
Feeling the need to scribble a few lines about this word, synonymous with "losing," whose significance extends far beyond the thousands of letters it comprises. Meanwhile, I believe it's time to alter my music-listening habits. I've grown increasingly certain that I am unable to select the right tunes. Anyway, let's not prolong it and jot down a few lines.
What does a person lose?
What they have in their hands.
So, is what they have in their hands tangible or abstract?
Does it matter? Both can be lost in some way...

When I come home tired at night, I usually listen to music and contemplate. Minutes... even hours can pass by. Of course, I can afford these extended moments of contemplation because I am alone. If you are not alone and have a loved one with you, the most beautiful thing you can do is have a conversation with them. "Communication..." It's truly crucial. Sometimes, it can be as deadly as a bullet coming out of a gun barrel... Not that our topic is about that. It just crossed my mind, and I wanted to say it. Talk to your loved ones. Don't let silence creep in between you.
Sometimes, during these moments of contemplation, I try to think about what I've lost in my life. It's a kind of feeling of regret that washes over me. Right after, I get angry with myself. "Don't be silly, Onur... All of these were experiences for you." Maybe I am consoling myself in this way.

How can we measure the value of what we've lost, especially when it comes to things that are "special"? It's not a phone or a wallet that we've lost. It could be someone to whom we've entrusted our feelings and dreams. It's a known fact that we cannot tangibly measure the value of such losses. After losing them, we are left to bear the consequences for a while. Perhaps, for a time, we make efforts to regain what we've lost, immerse ourselves in dreams again, reshape our emotions in our hearts, and try to surrender them to someone anew. And then, before we know it, we find ourselves once again struck in the chest from the same place.
While browsing the internet, I came across a beautiful quote about loss. I don't know who wrote it, but it went something like this: "The moment you lose someone you love deeply, you've returned to the beginning in the midst of pains..." Whether this loss is abstract or concrete, I can't say for sure, but when evaluating my current situation, it feels incredibly close and warm in an abstract sense.
Regarding the initial question, there's another truth to consider; I find myself constantly pondering this, you know... What does a person lose? They lose what they have in their hands. In a way, they lose what they possess... In such moments, I start to rethink things on my own. What did I possess? Someone's heart? Someone's feelings? Someone's body? Someone's intelligence? Or someone's dreams? None of them... Or let's correct it this way; what part did they give me that I could lose? After thinking like this, I scold myself again. I shout to myself about how naive and foolish I am.

But then a new thought comes to mind. Is it necessary for them to give me something before I can lose it? In other words, don't I already lose something of myself when I give to them without them giving me anything? It might sound a bit like philosophical nonsense, but it's quite simple, actually. You give someone your dreams, your hopes, your feelings. And you lose them irreversibly. Even though that person stands vividly in front of you, you are, in fact, "absent" to them... In such a situation, you don't need to possess something to lose it. In essence, you are already losing something of yourself without having possession of anything on the other side.
Losing, relinquishing, feeling sorrow afterward, enduring pain, and going back to the beginning... These are quite simple matters, aren't they?


"Yes, life is as you say, anything can happen to anyone at any moment. There is death, for example, the most real and inevitable. There is family, for example, whose priority cannot be replaced by anything. There is love, for example, inevitably ending someday. And then there are us, humans, in the midst of all this life, seeking refuge in the 'easiest' emotions..."
There is a woman, for example, trying to find light in the darkness...
There is a woman, for example, while trying to find light, engulfing the other in darkness...
Perhaps I can conclude this nonsensical writing with one last sentence...
"After all, one cannot lose what they haven't found in the first place..."