2 Psychological Keys to Kobe Bryant's Success

During Kobe Bryant's first year playing basketball at the age of 11, he scored zero points. It was terrible.
After the last game of the season, he was crying to his father about how poorly he played. His father looked him in the eye and said, “I don't care whether you score 60 points or 0 points. "I will love you no matter what."
This conversation changed everything for Kobe Bryant. In an interview with Lewis Howes, he said he knew he was "safe" when he heard his father say those words. No matter what, his father's love was safe. It was unconditional. He felt protected.
“Okay, that gives me all the confidence in the world to fail. I have that security there,” Kobe said. “But…Never mind. I get 60 points!”
The next season, Kobe started shooting a lot more. His creativity went through the roof. Given that he had full permission to fail, he did just that. He failed again and again. Among these failures, there were many successes, and each success built his confidence and creativity.
This article breaks down two keys to Kobe Bryant's success. Indeed, he went on to become one of the top 10 players to ever play the game, arguably top 5.

Kobe Had a Stable Foundation to Secure Her While Chasing a Big Dream

“Okay, that gives me all the confidence in the world to fail. "I have that security there."


— Kobe Bryant
Not only did Kobe have a supportive family, but he also married young. According to author Ryan Holiday, “The perfect partner is the best life hack no one ever told you about.” Married at a young age, Kobe was different from many of his teammates (as was Steph Curry).
So there was a huge amount of relational and emotional support around Kobe. This gave him internal and external stability to go big in the field.
Going big towards your dreams. When you're chasing big dreams and visions, you're constantly outside your comfort zone. You are constantly confronting your own inner demons. You also face external obstacles and enemies. Without a solid foundation to keep you centered, it becomes nearly impossible to constantly face failure and defeat day after day, night after night. To put your whole soul on the line. That's what Kobe did. He put his soul into it every day. As a young boy, his talent developed rapidly because he was so willing to put himself out there. Very willing to try.
At a young age, he stated that he was committed to the “long game.” Committing to big goals requires confidence. It requires faith in your future self. He had this belief because he had a firm basis as a person to support it.

Kobe Had a “Short Memory,” Which Made Her Emotionally Bulletproof


“I always wanted to be better, I wanted more. I can't really explain it, other than that I loved the game but I had a very short memory. "This nourished me until the day I hung up my sneakers."
— Kobe Bryant
In psychology, a refractory period is the time required to emotionally heal and move on from an experience. Minor disappointments, such as getting cut off on the road or arguing with your partner, may take several minutes or hours to heal. However, some events can take months, years or even decades to let go. Indeed, some events never escalate.
Being psychologically flexible allows you to shorten the length of refractory periods – even if they are truly painful or difficult experiences. You become psychologically flexible, in touch with your emotions, but not completely absorbed by them. You hold your thoughts and emotions loosely while actively pursuing meaningful goals.
In professional basketball, a player has no time to get upset and discouraged if he misses a shot. They may be disappointed or embarrassed when they miss, but ultimately, they need to get back into the game and both pay attention to the moment and stay committed to the goal of helping their team win, regardless of how they feel.
If they linger on the emotion of the missed shot, they won't be able to fully function on the court, creating more problems for themselves and their team. If they become emotionally attached to what happened, they may avoid shooting next time out of fear or negative expectation. They are stuck in the past instead of acting like their future selves.
The less you hold on to mistakes or painful experiences, the better you can adapt to what the situation demands and perform to achieve your goals. What happened in the past does not affect the next thing you do or prevent you from being fully present in the present.
The more flexible you are psychologically, the faster you can let things go. The less flexible you are psychologically, the longer you hold on to even the little things.
When a person is stuck in an emotional refractory period after a difficult experience, they continue to see and experience life from their initial reactions to the experience. Therefore, day after day, they continue to reconstruct the emotions of the experience. They do not organize and reframe how they see and feel about the event.
As the author notes, Dr. Joe Dispenza says:
'If you continue this refractory period for weeks and months, you have developed a temperament. If you keep the same refractory period for years, it is called a personality trait. When we start developing personality traits based on our emotions, we are living in the past and that is where we get stuck. Teaching ourselves and our children to shorten the refractory period allows us to move through life without hindrance.”
The key is to have a “short memory.” Letting things go too fast is both success and failure. There is a strong phrase for this: “Expect everything and get attached to nothing.”

Conclusion: Expect Everything and Attach to Nothing

"Expect everything, don't get attached to anything."
—Carrie Campbell
The worst advice in the world is to lower your expectations. There is nothing motivating, hopeful, engaging or exciting to lower your expectations. I guarantee that every shot Kobe made, he expected it to go in. However, the key for Kobe was that he didn't get hung up on the outcome of that shot. Whether he made it or missed it, he would shoot again. He put it behind him.
When you expect everything and are not attached to anything, it means you are not caught in the process. You are completely committed to the end result. But you won't get caught up in the process of getting there. You know you will do and miss along the way.
Expect everything, don't get attached to anything. Stay committed to the end goal. Keep your eyes forward. Don't get lost in this process. Be flexible during this process.
Benjamin Hardy

R.I.P Kobe BRYANT (Legend)