Dad jokes
20
- Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
- Why don't sharks like basketball? They're afraid of the net.
- I'm terrible at math, but I hear that calculus is a derivative of algebra, so I guess I'm not completely derivative.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- I just bought a new set of golf clubs. They're called "irons," but I call them "floppies."
- I tried to start a hot air balloon company, but I couldn't get it off the ground.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- I tried to start a hat-making business, but it was too much of a head-ache.
- Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
- Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- I'm terrible at math, but I hear that calculus is a derivative of algebra, so I guess I'm not completely derivative.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the chicken go to outer space? To hatch.
- I tried to start a business selling water but it just didn't have a lot of faucet-ability
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