Rant

My soul is ripped 
1:46am and still no sleep 
It gets worse at night
Like the dark exhumes vulnerability 
Lowkey think I might not make it lol 
Went through my calendars 
Shocking reveal 
I don’t know what to do with my anger 
My sadness
My hurt 
Had a mini case of agoraphobia 
Haven’t left the house in a week plus 
Literally haven’t stepped out of my house 
Hot flashes, anxiety, dizziness and extreme nausea 
Sweating, ear ringing 
Is this the new normal 
Arrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
My God!!!!!! I want to scream 
I want to wailllllll
I want AMNESIA 

I now understand pain
The one that is so deep and engrained in your soul
that try as you may you can’t keep it down for two seconds
its there when you’re seeing a movie
it’s there when you’re selecting a novel
it’s there when you’re trying to eat
It’s literally zigzag
does not even have the decency to be linear