"Gender" Advantages
I heard my male friends talk on how women have it easy and how they can get their hands on something because ‘they are women’. I laughed because I am a woman and nothing about my life has been easy. I have had to struggle for everything. However, when I thought about it long and hard, I realized that I might not be looking at it objectively. Even men have their struggles too.
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The truth is I find it hard to look at the world like it is, I look at it like a mirror and that is because I expect more from me than I do anyone else. When my friends were talking about how men have it hard, I argued with them because I was looking at the world from my perspective. It is very hard to see things the way they really are unless you have been there.
Women did not always have advantages. Even today, there are places where the opinions and rights of women are zero to none. The beginning of the Feminist movements in the late 18th century from the West was as a result of the lack of consideration towards women and their place in society. The movement covered the women’s right to vote, own properties, equal pay, education, etc. It is not different in African countries especially in Nigeria, my country, where the place of a woman in her home may be heavily dependent on the sex of her baby. I do not think any gender is more disadvantaged than the other is. In fact, I do not believe in gendering people and making it seem their sex is the reason they behave the way they do or can’t be who they want to be. I just believe in the fact that people tend to make awful decisions sometimes.
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We cannot say one gender has more advantage because it is not the case. Every person has his or her own struggles and life to deal with. A person comes out into the world with an assigned sex, but they face the world by themselves and respond to pressure in ways they know best. I made this clear when someone I know started saying quite an awful lot about ‘Nigerian women’ and how ‘Asian women’ are ideal. He has never even been to any part of Asia. It sounded like bullshit to me. There is nothing like a Nigerian woman or an Asian woman. You just have a woman who is a person led by her belief systems, which may not always be right. I do not go around saying Asian men are ideal or what not because before the nationality comes the people. People will be people no matter their citizenship or gender.
When it comes to what gender has the most disadvantage or advantage, I say none has anything because people are people. We face life differently and deal with pressures differently. Our persona is what makes us not our sex. I can point out men who should be on skirts and women who look like men. This is exactly why I do not think there is any advantage or disadvantage that comes with gender. We just have society telling us there is something wrong with having or being a girl child. Society tells our men that they are ‘simps’ for being human. Nothing pisses me off than ‘alpha male’ wannabes and their scummy messages.
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Men should not show emotion. Ladies should not be loud. Men should be strong all the time; talk about your problems and you are weak. Ladies should not dress like men; you take away the charm and blah blah blah. Nonsense everywhere! I understand etiquette but still, it becomes too much when what people are trying to do is change you. I do not respond well to people who always want me to change. Fix me up and make me look like a doll from Cancun. It never works. I have personality. Days when I want to be in shorts and just lounge around. Days when I want to dress up and slay. Days when I just will not get out of bed.
Just like me, people have personalities and experiences. They have their aspirations and belief. Their gender is not what makes them in my opinion. There are no advantages and disadvantages to being human. So come off it… just live like a person.
This post was originally published on my Hive page
