Review The Sociopath Next Door
"People's faces are different, people's hearts are even more different." - Voltaire
Have you ever been in a situation of mental violence from your ex-husband but he always denied responsibility for his actions? Or the cruel gym teacher who used psychological attacks without ever being discovered or prosecuted? Or does your boss like to humiliate you in meetings and then ignore you as if she's innocent?
We often think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in the book The Sociopath Next Door (Winner of the Books For A Better Life Award), clinical psychologist Martha Stout revealed that up to 4% of normal people have undetected neurological disorders, a symptom of "no conscience." They can be your colleagues, neighbors, even relatives. And they can do almost anything without feeling any guilt, remorse or remorse. In short, 1 in 25 people is a sociopath - sounds crazy and scary but it's true.
The high prevalence of sociopaths in human society has far-reaching effects on the rest of the population on the planet, even those who are clinically intact. The creators of this 4% destroy our relationships, our bank accounts and achievements, our self-esteem and our peaceful years on earth.
But surprisingly, many people do not know about people with this antisocial personality disorder, or if they do know, they simply think of them as violent people - killers. ruthless people, serial killers, mass murderers - illegal criminals whose crimes are clear, and if caught, they will be imprisoned, or even executed according to the law. We neither realize nor understand that there are many non-violent sociopaths living among us. These are people who often do not explicitly break the law and "slip through" the legal system.
In The Sociopath Next Door, Dr. Stout teaches you how to spot a sociopath and how to protect yourself from the villains you encounter – and the ones who may wreak havoc in your life. The author hopes that the book will play a certain role in limiting the destructive behavior of sociopaths in your life. Each of us can learn to recognize the “evil person next door” and can use that knowledge to defeat their self-serving goals. At least you can protect yourself and your loved ones from the sociopath's dishonest tactics.
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When I was a child, I used to like torturing animals. My joy started from using scissors to stab a frog's stomach and "watching the frog's dull transparent eyes slowly lose all life while its body bled to death" to stuffing firecrackers into their mouths, Watch them explode into a pile of stinking slime. Especially every time I heard their children scream in terror at that scene, my excitement increased tenfold. I'm not like other kids. Of course, my hobbies are even more different than those of my peers.
The notes above are part of the childhood of "Skip superstar" - a sociopath - one of the unscrupulous people mentioned in this book. In the eyes of his teachers, Skip is a beloved student. Growing up, he was a person who "had a captivating smile at the right time" and "had the magical ability to motivate sales staff" to increase sales, not only that, he was very "influential to customers". working relationships". Skip uses marriage as a tool to help him get everything. He also affirmed, "She (his wife) will have no way of knowing what happened to me" when asked about the true purpose of marriage in his life.
The above things sound normal and quite like a certain episode in a socio-emotional movie. Skip is the villain in that movie. He leisurely used terrifying tricks to achieve his goals and never felt any guilt or regret until the end. The important thing to emphasize is that Skip does not know "guilt" or "regret" - normal psychological expressions of a conscientious person.
In "The Sociopath Next Door", the author refers to conscience by another abstract, more difficult to understand name, "superego" or "seventh sense". It may seem funny to say it, but the truth is that not everyone has a conscience.
The sociopaths - people without conscience mentioned in this book, at first glance are normal people like everyone else. Maybe, they stand out like the superstar Skip. Or they are like the psychiatrist Dooren - on the outside she is someone who cares about others, but on the inside she is someone who likes to harm colleagues for fun. Or there are also unscrupulous men disguised as a (seemingly) good father like Hannah's father. Maybe they're also a sloth like Luke. In general, sociopaths - unscrupulous people - have different personality and behavioral aspects, but it is not too difficult to identify and deal with them.
For young people who have never studied psychology, the concepts of ego, superego or terms in this field are quite vague and not easy to grasp. However, this does not much affect the research and application of what is learned in the book. The main focuses are stories about unscrupulous people and “Thirteen principles for dealing with sociopaths in everyday life”. Among the thirteen principles, the ninth and eleventh principles, in my opinion, are the best – “Review the tendency to love others too easily” and “Never agree to help a sociopath hide his nature ”. To survive in this society, the most important thing is to keep a cool head. Compassion for others is necessary, but don't let kindness become a tool for others to take advantage of.
For someone like me who only skims through reading, this book is quite easy to absorb. The content in the book is not too strange (because I have read other books on psychology, so I find the terms, definitions and even some lectures in them quite normal). The only shortcoming of the book is its heavy bias towards the theory of causation, arguing that external conditions (family, society) and bad memories in childhood (abuse, abuse) are the causes. form a sociopath. Although I am not an in-depth researcher in psychology, I believe that external factors are only a part. The main thing to form a person's character and personality lies in their choice and purpose to react and survive in this society.
