I need answers

Dear God,
I would like to thank you for what you've already done for me
I know I have many sins that I hope you'll forgive

Sometimes I think you've forgotten about me
And you no longer love me
I don't think you hear my ocean of cries
That continues to rise

As the sun sets and rise
I need you now more than ever
I may be a little clever

But with you in my life I know my life will soon get better
I feel so alone and bad luck prone

I feel like I can't go on
I can't worship you in song
But this journey is so long

I need you God
Where are you?
Do you still love me?
Am I not still your child?

I know sometimes I get a little wild
Yes I know I am truly blessed
But my parents and I are terribly stressed
My dad can barely walk

Sometimes he even struggles to talk
Yes he's terribly sick
And you still let him take that terrible hit
The pain is too much

It's been very rough
I try to be tough
But I don't know how much more I can take

The pain in my back is as sharp as a knife
That I wish sometimes would end my life
People lie and steal

But they don't know the taste of their own bitter pill
I believe I can fly
If I only give it a try

But my self esteem is anything but high
Hello are you still there?
God do you hear my cry?

I'm tired of watching my mother cry
"Sigh"
It makes me want to die
I would give my own life

Just to see her smile
Which she only does every once in awhile
Working 12 hours

I can see the weight of the world on her back
She's my hero
But I know you have all the power
So please God please
I'm begging on my knees

I'll do anything for a blessing
I'll climb the highest mountain and swim across the deepest sea
If not for me, then please do it for her

Hear my prayers
Hear my cries
I know you love all things even the trees and the seas

But again I'm begging you please
I can't take this pain
The storm is rough

And I want to get out of the rain
So I ask you again God
Do you still love me?

Am I still your child?
Are you listening?
Oh God why oh why is this happening to me?