Friendship
Throughout my twenties, I’ve learned so much about genuine love, and in that, realizing the importance of cultivating relationships and surrounding yourself with people who get you on a soul level. Over the last month or so, I’ve read a post or two from a couple of my favorite blogs on friendship and how to maintain those relationships in your 30s. Since reading those, I really started thinking about the subject of friendship in general and how much my definition of it has changed over the course of the last ten years. Obviously we all have people in our lives who come and go – seasonal friends, if you will. But, the older I get, the more thankful I am for those few, genuine women in my life who I never have to question. They just show up in every way – and it’s easy. As I’m rounding out my twenties, I’ve not only learned a lot, but I’ve been continually reminded that this is the age + stage of life where a lot of those life-long friendships are cultivated. With this stage comes so many highs and lows – marriage and separations, careers taking off and others changing, some with infertility struggles and others with growing families, house closings and big moves, family issues and even loss. It’s now more than ever that we really need our tribe.
I’ve always been more of a few ‘best’ friends rather than a lot of acquaintances kind of person and those relationships mean everything to me.
For me, I gravitate towards women who are strong because they’ve been broken. The ones that have a story to tell and truly know who they are because that story has shaped them. The ones who will literally run to you when you need them. Women who support me and J without question and genuinely want to best for us. The soft-hearted, but strong-minded. The ones who are the same person in a room of 2 as they are in a room of 200. The ones who will get down on their knees and pray on my behalf. The friend I can simply look at and she knows what I’m thinking. The ones who can go deeper. The ones who you know will defend you and you trust with your whole heart. The ones that understand what unconditional love truly means and prove it.
On that note, I asked four of my closest friends to write a short blurb about what friendship means to them at this stage of life.
ONE. / “Friendship to me is is someone believing the best in you at all times. Someone defending you when you can’t defend yourself. Someone standing in your corner ready to sacrifice on your behalf at any given time. It’s someone who pushes you to be the best version of yourself and is the first to stand and clap for you when you succeed. True friendship is God’s way of reaching down and hugging you at your best, and more importantly at your worst.”
TWO. / “A true friendship is easy. There are so many things in this world that demand stress and force heartache that someone you genuinely care about and want to spend time on should not be one of those things. I want to be the friend that is always there no matter what. Supportive, trustworthy, loyal, and always down for a good cocktail!”
THREE. / “Somewhere along the way there is a shift – from the ties of childhood and the memories of college to actual connection that goes beyond social commitment. Our extra time dwindles as our ability to smell the bullshit heightens, and that’s when we identify with those that will be with us for the long haul. We may not speak every day nor every week, but when conversation happens it matters and it lasts over several cocktails. Those that will drop everything when you call are now able to be listed on one hand and it’s no longer called friendship – it’s called family.”
FOUR. / “Friendship to me has a whole new meaning in this season of life. It’s your gift to pick and choose, build your team member by member knowing the value of the power and bond you share. A true friend loves the imperfect you, the confused you, the wrong you – because that is the real you. All at the same time they celebrate you, cheer for you and show up for you no questions asked. This may not be a big group, but a solid and genuine group that expects nothing more than your company in return.”
