Why loneliness is not a good way to live life

Loneliness is a complex and often painful emotional state that can have significant negative impacts on a person's quality of life. While occasional solitude can be restorative, chronic loneliness takes a toll on both physical and mental health. There are many reasons why experiencing loneliness on an ongoing basis is an unhealthy way to live.

Social Connection is a Fundamental Human Need

Humans are inherently social creatures. We have evolved over millions of years to function optimally within tribes, families, and community groups. Our biology is wired for social connection - it influences everything from our brain development to our immune functioning. Just as we need food, water and shelter for basic survival, we also depend on positive social interactions and relationships. When deprived of sufficient social connection, we suffer. Loneliness has been likened to experiencing chronic hunger on a social-emotional level.

Loneliness Impacts Physical Health

There is now a strong body of research linking chronic loneliness to a range of adverse physical health outcomes. Lonely individuals have been shown to have increased inflammation, impaired immunity, higher blood pressure, faster progression of cardiovascular disease, and even changes in gene expression. Loneliness has been associated with disrupted sleep and fatigue. One study found that prolonged loneliness posed comparable risk for early death as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. It is clear that unmet social needs and loneliness can make people sick.   

Mental Health Suffers Without Community

Loneliness takes a major toll on mental health. Isolation exacerbates depression and anxiety. Those struggling with loneliness often report increased stress, pessimism, low self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness about the future. Suicide risk rises. Without the psychological benefits of community and belonging, mental illness thrives. For those with pre-existing mental health conditions, loneliness makes recovery and stability significantly more difficult. Humans simply are not meant to endure the struggles of life alone.

Cognitive Abilities Decline

Even cognition suffers. Extended loneliness has been linked to increased risk of dementia and diminished executive functioning. The complex social engagement that community provides seems necessary to fully develop and maintain cognitive abilities. Just as physical abilities atrophy without use, the social areas of the brain show impaired development and vulnerability when deprived of interaction. Cognition depends on connection.

The Rewards of Relationship

If loneliness represents the pain of social deprivation, the opposite experience powerfully highlights why isolation should be avoided. The incredible joy, meaning, support and satisfaction that comes from rich,quality relationships underscores how vital social connection is to optimal well-being. Experiencing love, intimacy, belonging and laughter are core human needs, not luxuries. Life is infinitely better shared.

We Are Interdependent

Individualism has value, but the truth is that humans have always depended on cooperative groups for survival and flourishing. No one is an island sufficient unto themselves. Our interdependence is biological reality. Loneliness denies this truth in favor of an illusory autonomy. Mutual reliance for friendship, family, purpose, knowledge, commerce, security, affirmation—these social bonds cradle humanity. We need each other.

Disconnection Breeds Self-Focus

Loneliness often traps people in a state of hyper self-focus. Without the balancing influence of community, priorities become distorted. When life is lived in isolation, it is difficult to see beyond personal needs, fears and limitations. Generosity yields to greed, vision yields to survivalism. Shared purpose gives way to disengagement. Alienation breeds self-preoccupation. In contrast, connection expands our focus outward to include the needs of others. 

Detachment from Shared Human Experience

A life characterized by loneliness is a life disconnected from the collective human experience. When caught in isolated orbit around ourselves, we lose touch with the hopes, dreams, tragedies and realities that we share with our human family. Our struggles and triumphs are not ours alone. Community provides perspective and humble understanding of our common human bonds.

Disintegration of Social Fabric

Widespread loneliness takes an enormous toll on the social fabric of families, communities, workplaces, culture and nation. Alienation leads to apathy, suspicion, conflict, exploitation—a breakdown of unity and responsibility for each other. When social connectedness frays, disorder often prevails. For society to function, involved citizens who care for the whole are essential.

Lost Potential for Growth

The isolation of loneliness stifles personal growth. We learn and mature through interaction with others who are different from ourselves. Their perspectives challenge our assumptions, expand our skills and enrich our thinking. Diverse community provides a greenhouse for cultivating wisdom, empathy, resilience and creativity. Loneliness deprives this nourishment.

Time Alone Need Not Equal Lonely 

Solitude has power. Time alone can be restorative and generative—if it exists in balance with social connection. Periodic retreat serves introspection. But chosen, temporary solitude is fundamentally different from imposed, unrelenting isolation. The latter drains spirit, the former can renew it.

Take Action to Nurture Community

If loneliness is the disease, then community is the cure. Though vulnerability brings discomfort, reaching out ameliorates isolation. Lifting up those around us lifts our own lives. Kindness, service and cooperation weave binding ties. Loneliness need not be doomed fate. We have power to build belonging. Our shared need can inspire creative solutions. Though culture often celebrates the self-made, there are no self-made men or women. We depend on each other. Our lives are multiplied through community.