LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF

Show compassion and kindness towards your inner child.

You've likely encountered the phrase "you need to love yourself" numerous times, but what does it truly entail? Does it involve treating yourself to a warm beverage when you're chilly? Or purchasing a new outfit when you're in the mood? Is it about indulging in your desires whenever you please? Or perhaps it's simply about bundling up in warm attire when the weather turns frigid?

Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.

As an adult, you still harbor an Inner Child within you, represented by your emotions, which remain akin to those of a 3-4-year-old. While your emotions don't mature, you can develop maturity in handling and respecting them.

Neglecting this Inner Child can lead you to navigate the adult world with the uncertainty and vulnerability of a young child. This approach often results in feelings of loneliness, fear, and confusion, as you struggle to cope without proper care and attention for your inner self.

Consider a hypothetical individual named Charlotte, aged 42, who harbors a four-year-old inner self. Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, tending to external obligations and others' needs, the inner Charlotte may feel neglected and overlooked. Constantly prioritizing the needs of others over her own can leave her feeling drained, emotionally overwhelmed, and occasionally prone to outbursts of anger without apparent cause. This internal neglect manifests as a significant source of distress and unrest.

Imagine alongside your children, husband, colleagues, parents, and friends, there's also a little four-year-old girl named Charlotte within you. Unfortunately, she goes unnoticed and receives no care or attention. Whenever she attempts to communicate or seek attention, she's met with dismissive remarks like "Shut up! I don't have time for you!" This treatment leaves her feeling neglected and unimportant.

How do you think she would react? Initially, she might resort to expressing her emotions in an amplified manner, crying excessively, screaming, or even displaying moments of aggression. While you might perceive these emotions as directed towards external circumstances, they are, in fact, her way of expressing sadness and anger towards your neglect. Ignoring your Inner Child is akin to denying your own existence.

The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one's self. Nothing is worse than this!

How often have we disregarded our own feelings to appease others? How many times have we silenced our Inner Child, dismissing their importance and prioritizing others' desires over our own? It's a dreadful realization, yet it's a scenario that unfolds every time we prioritize others' wishes over our own.

What happens to this neglected inner self? Eventually, she resigns herself to silence. Despite her efforts to express her emotions, she grows weary and disheartened. She begins to believe that she's unloved and unworthy of care, leading to feelings of depression.

You may attribute your depression to external factors—work, relationships, family—but the truth is, neglecting your Inner Child is at the core of it. When depression persists without change, your Inner Child may resort to drastic measures to grab your attention. She might fall ill or experience accidents, hoping to finally compel the adult Charlotte to acknowledge and care for her. After all, the Inner Child is just as real, if not more so, than a physical child.

You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.
What does that mean?

First and foremost, it's essential to cultivate an Inner Mother within yourself. If you were fortunate to have a loving and nurturing mother figure, you can emulate her care. Otherwise, you'll need to construct this Inner Mother—a representation of your feminine, nurturing energy. Whenever you experience an emotion, your Inner Mother should gently inquire of your Inner Child, "What's happening, my darling?" It's crucial to listen attentively to your Inner Child's response.

The next step is to engage in a dialogue. Your Inner Mother reassures, "Come here, my love. Come into my embrace. I love you just as you are, with all your feelings." By doing so, the weight of your emotions often diminishes. Follow this by affirming, "I understand, my darling. Come into your Mother's arms. I love you." Stay with these comforting words and feelings for a while, and then ask, "What do you need?"

Whatever your Inner Child expresses as a need, assure them, "We will address this with your Father."

Now, the role of your Inner Father comes into play. Your Inner Father is tasked with protecting you and taking action in the external world. Just as you wouldn't send a four-year-old to handle workplace negotiations or resolve conflicts with neighbors, you shouldn't expect your Inner Child to manage these tasks either. Your Inner Father represents your masculine energy—enabling you to make decisions, take action, follow your intuition (housed within your Inner Child), and bring your desires into fruition in the external world.

When your Inner Child expresses a need, visualize your Inner Child remaining at home with their Mother, who tends to their emotional well-being, while your Inner Father, another facet of your being, ventures out to take action. Your Inner Father is equipped to handle stress, address conflicts, and navigate the complexities of the external world. If this aspect is underdeveloped due to lack of a positive model in childhood, it's crucial to cultivate and strengthen it.

Ultimately, your Inner Child, Mother, and Father are all facets of yourself—they represent different aspects of your being. This framework offers insight into understanding your internal dynamics and how to nurture self-love.

Loving yourself entails actively listening to your Inner Child, acknowledging their emotions, understanding their needs, and taking decisive action in alignment with their desires. Make this inner dialogue a consistent practice—every morning upon waking, every evening before bed, and whenever emotions arise.

Loving yourself involves forging a robust internal connection. It's about creating your own supportive inner family. With your Trinity—your Inner Family—by your side, you'll never feel alone. Embrace this inner healing journey, where you provide the attention and love that your precious Inner Child has longed for.

This is the essence of inner healing.