7 signs that your partner is “emotionally cheating” on you

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15 Oct 2023
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Unlike physical relationships, emotional infidelity is difficult to detect. So, a group of psychotherapists from various parts of America explain to the American edition of "Huff Post" 7 signs that indicate that your partner is on the verge of emotional infidelity, and they explain how to talk to him about it. 1- If there is something strange in his conversations with this person, whether when he meets him or on the Internet The most obvious sign of emotional infidelity is feeling uncomfortable with the presence of a particular person in your partner's life, said Elizabeth Lamott, a psychotherapist and founder of the DC Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy. She explained that you might notice a bit of flirtation in an email he forgot to open on his device, or overly friendly posts on his Facebook page. You may notice how the suspicious person shows love and affection towards your life partner, or that there is something very intimate about their eyes meeting each other. Whatever happens, you'll notice it, says Elizabeth Lamott. 2- If you feel that he is far from you Sometimes emotional infidelity affects your physical relationship, according to Marcia Naomi Berger, psychotherapist and author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted. She continued, “Your romantic partner may already be emotionally separated from you, but this is quickly followed by physical separation as well.” The "cheating" partner may feel that having sex with their spouse is a betrayal of the person they have romantic feelings for. 3- If he becomes obsessed with his phone If your partner was previously accustomed to leaving his phone anywhere in the house, but now he takes it with him everywhere, and even gets upset when you catch it, this is a bad sign. This is a cause for concern, says therapist Jennifer Chappell Marsh. She added that people involved in romantic relationships are obsessed with their phones. If your partner is constantly checking his phone waiting for new messages, constantly texting someone, and updating his pages on social networks, this may indicate that he is emotionally involved in someone else's life. 4- He describes his relationship with this person as “a friendship and nothing more.” What's interesting is that if your partner asserts that this person is "just a friend," that's a serious red flag, says Zach Brittle, a therapist and founder of the ForBetter couples therapy series. Brettell added: “If someone is just your friend, you will often talk about him as your friend so-and-so or your colleague publicly. You will not describe your relationship with him as: ‘nothing but a friend,’” referring to a theory published by Shirley Glass, the famous researcher and author of the book NOT Just Friends: Protect Yourself. Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal. "As Shirley Glass pointed out, the connotations of this phrase show that you are defending something that your partner does not know or makes uncomfortable," Brettell continued. 5- He starts using uncertain terms when talking about your relationship David McFadden, a marital and family therapist, said that if you notice that your partner is using phrases that imply that your relationship will not last when you discuss marriage together, or is deliberately avoiding talking about any future plans, this may be a sign that he is involved in an affair. Emotional. He explained: "If you notice a definite change in his language, and your intuition tells you that something is wrong, then now is the right time to discuss the matter with him." 6- He does not want to talk about the other person If your partner refuses to talk about that person, that's a red flag, said Curt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men. Kurt cited one of his sessions to illustrate his point. He continued: “I was counseling a couple when the wife said to her husband: When I asked you what you did in the gym, you said that you did some exercises. What an absurdity! You used to tell me the exercises you did. The wife knew that something was wrong.” Kurt continued: “When your partner stops talking to you and sharing details of his day, something is happening. It does not have to be just an emotional relationship, it may be something else, but often there is something wrong.” 7- You discover that he has told the other person several things related to your relationship According to Brittle, a healthy romantic relationship has clear boundaries. If you find that the rules have changed, and that the other person has access to your marriage or relationship; That's a worrying sign. “It's hard to be sure that something fishy is going on, but if boundaries like that are breached, that's a clear red flag,” he says. Here's how to start talking to your partner if you suspect they're in a romantic relationship with someone else: 1- Try to keep your voice calm and neutral Accusing words are useless, so avoid emotional outbursts, pleading or yelling, Cabell-Marsh said. She explained: “These methods will only end the conversation and distance your partner from you. Be clear and calm about your fears, and let your partner know what you need to feel safe and reassured.” 2- Express your concern that things between you have changed Kurt says the best way to start a conversation is by discussing what you've noticed and explaining how you think things have changed. “You don't have to start the conversation with anything more than this,” he says. “From this point, after a series of conversations, you will have made your concerns clear and can discuss their reasons.” Of course, it would be helpful if you consulted an expert on the matter. He continued: "You may find it very difficult to talk about such an emotionally stimulating topic in a productive way without the help of a specialized expert." 3- Be prepared to tell your partner what you want him to do “Before you talk to your partner, think about what you want them to change,” Marsha Berger said. She continued: “You may want him to cut ties with this person, or for him to agree to some level of transparency regarding the emails they share. Or you may ask him to see a specialist. This may be a good idea because you will have a participant

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