When You Don’t Like Being Nice: What to Do Instead
As a pleasant person, I am frequently conflicted due to the fact once in a while I don’t experience being high-quality. Sometimes I act high-quality out of ethical responsibility or due to the fact I’m seeking to be constant with my perceived identification.
Do you view your self as “high-quality”? Do others describe you as “high-quality”? Do you continually experience being “high-quality”? If you're uncertain how you're perceived through others, ask pals and own circle of relatives to explain you.
I’ve been instructed how high-quality I am all my lifestyles, through own circle of relatives, pals, coworkers, or even bosses. It changed into a massive a part of my non-public identification. When you've got got a perceived identification of who you're, you’ll unconsciously alter your behaviors to mirror that identification. For me, that intended being high-quality and performing like a pleasant person, despite the fact that it wasn’t what I wanted.
Here are a few questions that will help you pick out when you have any conflicts with being high-quality:
* Do you do high-quality matters whilst you clearly don’t need to?
* Do others take gain of your niceness?
* Have you skilled social strain to be high-quality, mainly as a woman?
* Are you a pushover? Are you a people-pleaser?
* Do you ever get upset, frustrated, or green with envy whilst you are high-quality?
* Do you once in a while sense like your niceness isn't clearly you?
* Is being high-quality on the pinnacle of your self-identification list?
* Do you ever revel in struggle among your high-quality identification and your different identities along with achiever, assertive, or leader?
* Do you once in a while now no longer sense pleased with being high-quality?
If your replied sure to any of those questions, then preserve reading.
What does “being high-quality” suggest to you?
One day a person requested me this question. It changed into very applicable to me due to the fact I actually have attempted to behave high-quality for maximum of my lifestyles in spite of experiencing numerous of the conflicts indexed above.
I evolved 3 inquiries to assist me define “being high-quality” in my personal terms:
- Who is your “high-quality” position model, and do you need to be like them?
- What different phrases describe being high-quality to you?
- Should you act or be high-quality?
