Watch Out: 7 Things Cheaters Always Say

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8 Jul 2024
50

Trust and honesty are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. When these are compromised, particularly through infidelity, it can be devastating.

Cheaters often use specific phrases or excuses to manipulate, deflect, or justify their actions. Recognizing these common lines can help you identify infidelity early and address it appropriately.

Here are seven things cheaters always say, along with insights into their meanings and the psychology behind them.


1. "We're Just Friends"

One of the most common phrases cheaters use is, "We're just friends." This line is often employed to downplay the nature of their relationship with someone else, making it seem innocent when it might not be.

Deflection and Minimization
By calling it "just a friendship," the cheater tries to minimize the threat and avoid deeper scrutiny.

Lack of Transparency
Genuine friendships should not require secrecy. If your partner is being evasive about their interactions or you notice a lack of transparency, it might be a red flag.
Source: Psychology Today: Friendship or Something More?


2. "You're Just Being Paranoid"

Gaslighting is a common tactic used by cheaters to make their partners doubt their own perceptions and feelings. When accused or confronted, they might say, "You're just being paranoid."

Gaslighting
This tactic makes you question your reality, eroding your self-confidence and making it easier for the cheater to continue their behavior unchecked.

Avoiding Responsibility
By labeling your concerns as paranoia, the cheater avoids taking responsibility for their suspicious actions.
Source: Healthline: Gaslighting


3. "I Need Some Space"

While everyone needs personal space, cheaters might use this phrase to create physical and emotional distance, making it easier to carry on their affair.

Creating Distance
By asking for space, the cheater can reduce the time spent with their partner, providing more opportunities to engage in infidelity.

Emotional Manipulation
This phrase can also manipulate the partner into feeling guilty or overly clingy for wanting to spend time together.


4. "You're Imagining Things"

Similar to gaslighting, saying "You're imagining things" invalidates your feelings and perceptions. This is another way cheaters try to shift the blame and avoid addressing the real issue.

Denial
This phrase is a form of denial, attempting to make you question your observations and instincts.

Control
By making you doubt yourself, the cheater maintains control over the situation and their narrative.


5. "I'm Working Late"

Cheaters often use work as a cover for their activities. "I'm working late" or "I have a work trip" are convenient excuses that can be difficult to verify immediately.

Plausible Deniability
Using work as an excuse provides a believable cover story, making it harder for the partner to question it without seeming unreasonable.

Opportunity
These excuses provide the cheater with unaccounted time to meet with their affair partner.

Read More: The Guardian: Cheating and Infidelity


6. "She/He is Just Going Through a Tough Time"

This line is often used to justify the time and emotional energy spent with someone outside the relationship. It portrays the cheater as being compassionate and selfless, deflecting suspicion.

Emotional Justification
By framing their involvement as supportive, the cheater tries to invoke sympathy and reduce suspicion.

Manipulating Trust
This excuse leverages the partner's trust and good nature, making them feel guilty for questioning the cheater's motives.


7. "You Know How Much I Love You"

Expressions of love and affection are often used to mask guilt and manipulate the partner's emotions. Cheaters might say, "You know how much I love you," to divert attention from their suspicious behavior.

Emotional Manipulation
This phrase is meant to disarm the partner and shift focus from the cheater’s actions to their professed love.

Guilt Alleviation
By reaffirming their love, the cheater tries to alleviate their own guilt and deflect any accusations.

Conclusion

Recognizing these common phrases and the tactics behind them can help you identify potential infidelity early. While not every use of these phrases indicates cheating, repeated patterns combined with other suspicious behaviors warrant attention and discussion. Understanding the psychology behind these lines can empower you to address issues in your relationship proactively and seek clarity.


Sources

  1. Psychology Today: Friendship or Something More?
  2. Healthline: Gaslighting
  3. 11 Signs of Cheating
  4. The Guardian: Cheating and Infidelity

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