Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

As you're leaving the room with an exhausted droop of your shoulders, you momentarily stop at the door

and wonder-

"Did I really make the right

decision?"

"Was it okay that I stopped myself from saying anything even though words were trembling at the tip of

my tongue?"

"Are some things better left unsaid?"
But you're unable to understand what the right answer is. How do you respond to something you can't fully understand?
It was a terrible break-up. There was no yelling or screaming. Just the revelation and then silence. Words were said but they weren't listened to. Being unable to com- prehend how things turned out the way they did, you just sat there idly staring into the void as tears ran down your cheeks. Everything was sailing smoothly, or so you thought.

"I'm so sorry. I know you're disap- pointed, but this is why I'm doing the things I am. I hope you under- stand. Please talk to me. Please just say a word! Please..."

If you opened your mouth, you'd be shooting bullets of anger and dis- appointment. Maybe you'd end up saying things you never believed to be true. But right now, you're numb and there aren't any more words left to say. The silence spoke a million words a minute. It spoke the words
that you were afraid to speak out. And as you got up from the chair, the suspended silence was all that remained.

It's Tuesday night when your phone buzzes and you pick up your mom's call.
"Hello?"

"Hi Beta. Are you doing okay? You sound a little upset. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Mom. I'm fine"

But you're not fine. Not today. Earlier in the day, you bumped into one of your best friends at the coffee house around your work- place. It had been three years since you parted ways with him. You said hello and asked how he was doing but it was awkward. You hate doing small talk. You wished that the Barista made your drink faster because you didn't want to pretend as if there wasn't a promise made three years ago to remain best friends. Too much time had passed and all those promises had become empty. You don't know how you got into this situation but you just
wanted to walk away. With a coffee in your hand, you leave again, with words barely hanging at the tip of your tongue. Today, words were left unsaid. And you don't know if it was for the best.

"Okay Beta. Have dinner on time, okay? And don't forget to..."

Deep down, you wanted to tell your mom everything. But you didn't want her to worry about you. So you left things unsaid. Again.

"Take care, Mom. I miss you. Bye"

It is okay to be silent even if you believe that something needs to be told. If you said how you felt... If you took those words out of the air and let them roll off your tongue, would people be better because of that? Would it help others to hear every last detail of what you really
think about the heartbreak? Would it help others to hear why you think the friendship ended?

Maybe you don't have reasons and there isn't anything left to say on your end. Then do you need to make up words in order to let the other person feel like you're not leaving anything unsaid?
Truth is, things will always be left unsaid. You have this whole plan in your head about how the big moment will take place until the other person hits you with a response that you didn't prepare for. All the ten different responses you planned are now eating dust as your script gets ruined. And while you're driving home, you think of all the points you wanted to make and all the things you wished you told them. But it's too late now; you were supposed to leave it all at the table. Now the table is empty and the words remain in your mind.

Sometimes, taking everything out of your head and putting energy into them does more harm than actually keeping them to yourself. In moments of extreme emotional distress, we say things that we don't mean. We inflict damage that is very hard to repair. More issues
are born just because our anger got the better of us. We then spend an eternity healing from the trauma we've experienced as well as the trauma we've caused to others.

This is not to say that you need to hide or keep secrets from people. If the truth needs to be told, it has to be told. But if something you say can cause serious trauma, you really need to hold yourself back. It takes a lot of maturity to under- stand that if you really care about someone's happiness, you have to protect them, even if it means leaving some things unsaid. They don't deserve the pain of knowing a few things. Let them believe what they want to believe about how you are doing or why you've stopped talking. The story in their head will remain unsaid just like the story in your head that remains unsaid.
It's true that we all need closure to move on with the events that will follow the end of something. We desire and deserve to know the truth when a chapter of our lives is ending-to say goodbye. But one has to be circumspect when dealing with others. You must know how to communicate in a way that is open and sincere but avoids unnecessary pain. This is one of the lessons of social interaction - People will never forget how you made them feel.

So be careful. Be aware of what and how you speak. Carry the burden yourself if you need to.

Sometimes, things are better left unsaid so that you can come back with a rational mind and carefully express your feelings. Sometimes, things are better
left unsaid because there is nothing left to say. And sometimes, things are better left unsaid because you don't want to cause someone pain they don't deserve.

Here's the thing. I run a podcast. And because you're great readers, I know you're great listeners too. Everything I write, I narrate in my podcast. I won't lie when I tell you that the podcast has helped me, more than anyone. So if you think you'd like to revisit my thoughts, you can head to my podcast, Within 5 Minutes, which serves as an audio library for these blogs- https://linktr.ee/hacchuu

I'd always love feedback and ways to build a bigger forum of like-minded
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