Your Words Don't Matter!

A couple of years back, I was sitting in front of a manager for an interview. I was a fresher at that time. And I was interviewing for my first job. He asked me a couple of technical questions. I didn't know the answers. So I told him the truth. I was a hero when it came to Java programming but zero when he asked me questions about Hadoop.

Another guy was waiting to give an interview. Manager asked him the same questions. Turned out he knew the answers to most of the questions. So, I got the hint and was about to leave the premise. But the manager came out of his cabin and asked me to meet him again.

I went inside the cabin and sat down. He smiled at me and said. "Congratulations! The job is yours!! Let's discuss your joining date, work, salary, and all other perks."

I was shocked! How is it even pos- sible? I didn't give a single answer to any of his technical questions. Why would he hire me?
But I was a fresher and I didn't want to cross-question him. For me, getting a job was more important at that time. So I accepted it. I joined the company. A couple of months went by. One day we were sitting in a meeting room, waiting for other people to join in the conference. We started having a casual conversation and he told me, that he was happy with my progress, O

He said, learning from zero takes time and my learning pace made him happy. He said it was the right decision to hire me instead of that guy. And so I asked, why did he do that? He had a candidate who was skilled for the job. Then why did he pick me, instead of him?

He smiled and said, "He gave the right answers. But you showed the right attitude. I don't take interviews to see how much a candidate knows.
I take interviews to see how well a candidate carries him/herself. That's all matters. I can teach skills, but I cannot teach attitude."

This one simple lesson changed my life personally and professionally.

"Your words don't matter. The atti- tude, confidence, and enthusiasm you show when you speak those words matters the most."

And so I wanted to make sure that I bring the right attitude, confidence, and enthusiasm with every word I speak and every action I take. But how to make it happen? To find out, I went down the rabbit hole of research and reading. And here's what I found.

Your thoughts Influence your personalityl

Every person we meet in our life has a different personality. Some
people will be bright and some boring. Some will be daring and some daunting. Some will be funny and some scary. Some will be happy and some always are in a hurry.

Do you wonder what makes them so? Their thoughts!

Your every thought reflects in your personality. That's why babies always look so adorable, cute, and happy. Because they don't have neg- ative thoughts. We find them cute even when they are crying or throw- ing tantrums. I hardly see anyone think the same for a grown-up.

That's why monks are so calm and peaceful all the time. The subtle- ness and calmness in their thoughts reflect in their personalities. Their long and silent meditations reflect the depth of their personalities.

Here's an experiment for you.
Record yourself when you are angry and you won't recognize the person.

Record yourself when you are happy and you'll fall in love with yourself.

Record yourself when you are asleep and you'll wonder what on earth you worry about things.

Record yourself when you achieve something and you'll see a winner in you.

Record yourself when someone talks down to you and you'll see a loser in you.

Your every thought leads to emo- tion. And each emotion reflects in your personality. Simply put, your personality is a mirror of your thoughts. It's like you become a whole new person time your thoughts change. This is a both good and
bad thing,Bad because, if you're a person who goes through frequent mood swings, it impacts your personality, success, and life. One moment you are that bright and beautiful sun- shine ready to enlighten the world. And the next, you are a scary grey cloud of storms ready to destroy the world with high-pitch, high-voltage lightning strikes.

Good thing is, you can go from re- pelling to an appealing personality with a few tricks and twists.

You need, modifications to your thoughts and notifications to your mind. Here's how to do that.

1. Be a thought police

Don't let any thought wander in your head without verifying it. Check its identity, where it came from, what are the motives, and if it is misguiding you.
Every time you encounter a negat- ive emotion, interrogate it. Cross- question it. And when you find any thought harmful and suspicious, arrest it. Send it to a rehabilitation center. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. To do that, just rephrase it with facts and logic.

For example, -

I don't know this→ I don't know this yet. But, I'm smart enough to figure that out.

I'm going to fail at this. → How can I know that before trying? Let's do it first and then see what happens.

I don't know how to do this So what? I can always learn how to do

it.

I hate waking up early→ Why? Because I feel sleepy. Then why don't I try sleeping an hour early and see if I still hate it? Let's not jump to a
conclusion without experimenting.

You got the gist, right? Be the thought police and patrol your thoughts 24*7.

2. Be self pleaser

Instead of trying to please people, find things that will please you. This is the easiest way to modify your personality. When you do things that make you feel good and happy; your personality shine with positivity.

Keep yourself in a good mood. Motivate yourself. Don't judge, compare, or force yourself.

3. Remind yourself

Sometimes we just forget who we are. We let the people, situations, and our minds decide who we are and who we are not. So you must remind yourself from time to time, who you are.
Every morning, stand in front of the mirror and say all the good and great things about you. Look into your eyes and say it aloud. Do this every day and you'll see your confidence and energy will level up with each day.

Every modification you'll make using these simple activities will get notified to your brain. And your brain will mirror those changes into your personality.

There's a Latin saying, "Cognito ergo sum" meaning - 'I think, therefore I am!