A Fair and Thoughtful Approach to Judgement

Judging others can be a tricky thing. On one hand, making assessments of people's character and actions is an inevitable part of living in a society. We have to make judgments every day - who we can trust, who might harm us, who shares our values. Making these kinds of judgments helps us navigate our social world.

On the other hand, judging others negatively or harshly can be problematic. When we assume the worst about people or make snap judgments based on limited information, we may underestimate others or miss opportunities to connect. Prejudice and discrimination often start with faulty judgments about groups of people.

So how can we judge others in a way that is fair, thoughtful and leads to understanding rather than conflict? Here are some tips:

Focus on actions more than assumed motivations. We can observe people's behaviors, but we don't know what drives them without asking. Avoid assuming you know their motivations, and focus your judgments on what they've actually said or done.

Get more information before making strong conclusions. First impressions and snippets of behavior are rarely enough to truly understand someone. Withhold your judgment until you've gathered more facts. Ask questions, observe over time, consult others who know the person.

Examine your own biases. We all have unconscious biases - quick judgments we make without intentional thought. Becoming aware of your own biases can help you counteract them. Notice if you judge certain people more positively or negatively, and try to balance that with fairness.

Consider situational factors that may be affecting them. People don't act in a vacuum. Are they dealing with grief, job loss, illness? Are they in an environment that supports their best selves? Judgments should consider how context is shaping behavior.

Look for common ground. Rather than focus on differences, look for shared hopes, values and experiences. Judging others as fellow humans with innate worth rather than strangers makes harsh judgment less likely.

Be willing to revise your judgments. First impressions shouldn't become lasting labels. Allow yourself to update opinions as you get new info. People can grow, change perspectives, learn from mistakes. Allow for grace.

Focus on behavior more than presumed character. Don't assume one instance reflects someone's permanent nature. Behavior is changeable; character is too complex to judge quickly.

Avoid judgments that dehumanize. Labeling people as evil, animalistic, psychotic etc. makes empathy and understanding impossible. Recognize each person's humanity.

Consider your end goals in a situation. Will harsh judgments improve things or make them worse? Focus on goals like reconciliation, growth, harmony. Judgments should advance your values. 

Aim to understand, not rank. Judging others often becomes a holier-than-thou game. But we all have strengths and weaknesses. Seek to understand people's perspectives without placing yourself above them.

Offer grace along with accountability. Helping others grow often requires both patience and high expectations. Judgment works best paired with compassion and encouragement.

Make room for redemption. Believe people have potential beyond their past actions. Judging without allowing for redemption keeps people stuck in old patterns.

Temper judgment with humility. Recognizing how imperfect we all are makes us slower to judge others harshly. Extend the grace you would want for yourself.

Overall, avoid making judgments unless necessary and helpful. While there are situations that require us to make assessments of others, harsh judgments often say more about the judger than the judged. As much as possible, lead with openness, curiosity and generosity of spirit. Judging carefully, thoughtfully and compassionately benefits both parties - the judged and the judger.